Tempest in a Teapot

Tempest in a Teapot
Originally uploaded by unohuu.

i am working on a couple of photo projects right now. one of them is for Utata...another for the BDL Legal fund...and the last of them is for the CCC March Salon. Iron Photographer 17 requires a metal; a piece of clothing and a shot from above the items. The BDL Legal fund merely requires me to sell some of these wacky images in order to liberate my mother from the tyranny that we have all come to know as Ms POA. In order to that we have to meet this sibling on her turf. i have to admit that she has become quite shrewd. unfortunately she has also become like a vampire or bloodsucker. To the bard that suggested we rid ourselves of the vermin we know of as lawyers, i commend you. but first this commercial break while we try to find our own shyster to pound the living UNOWHAT out of her.

CCC is for shadows for March. i should be able to do that since the days are again getting longer. just 3 short weeks to the equinox. the long winter of our misery and discontent is almost over. we must first endure a few snow squalls here where i live. one for Wednesday and yet another scheduled for later this week. the end however is in sight. that is, until we get to tournament time - i think that is both basketball and hockey snowstorms are to be scheduled de rigeur here in minnesnowta.

see ya soon.

Dismissed

Yesterday it snowed and snowed here. Today when my daughter left for school I told her to take the boots that we bought for her. She ran down to her room and grabbed the boots. She carried these boots out to the car and plopped herself down in the front seat.

Today when I picked up the kids from the friend's house and the after school program, neither had boots. No worries. I have a plan. I am just not 100 % sure that it will work. I think they should pay the co-pay and some salary reimbursement when they do dumb things like forgetting to put on their boots. I guess I can't really do that since my daughter has double coverage and no co-pays for her.

Anyway, this little girl gave me the same dismissive look when I tried to take her photograph this afternoon. I guess I should get used to it. The dismissive gestures and handsigns. I am just getting old I guess.

Peaceful Easy Feeling

we finally got our big snow storm. actually more inches than i anticipated. i shoveled today. i sweated a bit and then i moved LR furniture. always a real good peace inducing activity for me. Call from my mom...i had to pretend to have a pleasant conversation with my sister. i am tired so going to bed shortly. go to flickr and check out some of my photos.

i need your help with the best possible candidates for cards and general art. i am going to sell them to pay for the attorney we need to hire. but i want to only have a few on hand at any given time and a quick way to print them and ship if needed. ideas generally welcome. would prefer something close to Minneapolis/St. Paul and would like to see some samples before I go all out.

Thought I Was Done

the previous post was short. i thought that it would be enough of a cathartic experience for me to be able to be OK for the day. i was wrong and it was not nearly enough. just thinking about all the subterfuge and chicanery and such is enough for me to want more...more of what i cannot possibly have. each day is like another day of having my fingernails pulled direct from my fingers. a few more of the hairs on my head gray each day. some from worry...some simply from age. pray that wisdom could accompany those arriving with age.

this is not a fairy tale. there will be no magic happy ending unless we choose to fight the evil that lurks in the heart of this one vindictive and nefarious family member. the evil can spread and must be stopped. eradicated like vermin. we must be merciless.

you want to know more, you can contact me directly...you want to help, click on the Etsy art link and buy some photographs. I expect to increase the availability of additional items such as photo cards, accessories or to license photos from my flickr site for business cards, stock photography and personal use. I am cheap at the moment. Get in on the ground floor.

SNAFU

the legal system sucks sometimes...i am caught in the middle of too much stuff right now. trials at work with chemically dependent parents who would gladly trade their kid for a hit of meth. continuing problems with my sister who thinks she is the Queen of the Universe. Seems she filed a motion to block any petition for guardianship for my mother. She based this on some hu ha crap that she falsely created during the last squall in December. I have had it up to here (see top of my thinning and graying head). of course, she does not know the meaning of the word tenacity. but she is certainly going to find out soon enough. sell some photos...sell some camera equipment. keep stuffing money into lawyer's pockets. send their children to private schools. deprive my family of my energy and time and patience. i know, it is my choice. but it is kind of a Sophie's Choice. Aaaarrrggghhh!

Questions

Some people are known to say mean things or to commit horrible acts so that they can feel better about themselves. Ironically this happens most often to people who have been victimized themselves, but have not truly achieved healing. I was reading the post in the link above, (Questions) and it dawned on me. We live in a society that teaches contradicting methodologies. On one hand we are taught to care for the weak, frail and injured, while on the other hand we are taught that it is a dog-eat-dog world. Do unto others before they have a chance to do unto you. Now the answer becomes clear. But that only leads to more questions about how healing truly takes place. If it is on the individual level and we have more walking wounded (and wounding) than those seeking healing, we are losing. How many do we have to lose before the healers and healed check out? Is this how new societies are formed? The Pilgrims left their homeland to avoid persecution. No sooner than they arrived than they started their own persecutions based on the simple theory that they were right (and righteous).

They were so right that they took a world-wide practice and turned it into one of humanities greatest tragedies. Slavery. How many millions were lost and died? We are just a few days short of the end of Black History Month. What have learned about the history of our Black community members? Look at your local news today - not with th eyes of someone who fears victimization by someone you have been taught to fear. Look at the news at someone who probably has been victimized. How can we help each other heal if we remain in constant fear of each other?

Some Possible Answers:

Love thy neighbor (locally and globally) as yourself and your family.

We all live downstream from someone else.

Treat even the "least of them" as you would like to be treated yourself.

Honor your father and mother and sister and brother and neighbor and child and community.

Do not judge others for if you do they will surely judge you in return through the eyes of the righteous victim.

Put a little love in YOUR heart and mind and tongue.

Be humble. We could all learn a tad from each other.

Listen with your mind open.

Learn to forgive.

Remember the Titans and the Lilliputians.

Do not believe everything that you read or hear or see about others. We all have brains and can learn from our own senses. We do have some idea of what is right and what is wrong.

Laugh once in a while (especially at yourself).

Cry when you see injustice, but then put your mind to work to heal what you have seen.

No one is free until all are free.

Dain Bramage

Today is our father's birthday. Our little family cancelled the weekend trip to Chicago to visit because there were just too many sick people here. We wanted to go, but with my wife away for the weekend already, and Chicago deeply buried in snow I was reluctant to venture along the interstate along and not feeling so hot myself. His church usually has a big celebration for him and we get to be paraded around as the lucky progeny. Our parents are getting old and they will not likely have as many birthdays in their futures as they already have had. This was a big one. He was disappointed when I called, but understanding. Understanding of a son who has worked hard at maintaining a positive relationship.

Now my sister who is Ms POA called our dad this morning. She sang Happy Birthday to him...she sang this as if she had just seen him yesterday and awakened in her bedroom in his home. She sang as if she had not recently called him a liar. She sang it as if she had not tried to insult him publicly in Hotlanta just a bit over a month ago. She sang this as if she has no recollection of the shameful behavior she is so adamantly engaged in. She sang this song as if she were still the fair-haired child that she has believed she always thought she was. I don't understand this, but then I have not ever had enough chutzpah (cojones for some of you) to pull off anything so brazen and shameless. So the simplest answer is that she must have some kind of dain bramage. You know...she simply can't connect the dots inside of her rat poisoned damaged brain. We cry for our mother and worry that the last days will be lost in a fog of keep the mother away from the other siblings so that they become frustrated as hell and do something regrettably stupid and then are not eligible to see their mother. Or some lame something or the other.

Huh...?

Excerpts

Girl,

I see you changed your eyes from brown to blue!
Tell me honey, what dat do?
Your lovely mocks me, ignores my tears designed by you.
Tell me honey, what dat do?

We ain't shame of being Westside
What little we got, we kept our pride!
You sneer and grin to save your hide.
You stepped up in it, got on the wrong side!

Educated fool, won't heed the golden rule.
All you get, they'll take at will
The very day you ain't their shill!
So tell us, baby what dat do?

Lordy, gal, you just on a spree?
Maybe you think you gave us free!
You took our gifts and picked us clean.
Now we see, your eyes are green!

Jodie's coming to collect his pay!
For all who stood and paved your way.
Your goose is cooked, it's nearly burned.
Tell me honey, why can't you learn?

Didn't know you was a queen?
Why trade your crown for shiny things?
Laid down in trash, like all the rest!
Shame on you - can't pass this test!

Now, tell me honey,
Just, what dat do?

X
________________

One small sample of the rings of pain associated with the preventable loss of contact with our mother. One sibling's pain transformed into words. The pen is mightier than the sword.
________________________

Carter G. Woodson
Carter G. roll over gently in your grave. Who would have ever thought that one of your own blood would become a master's pet. Our distant relative. Fought for our right and to become educated. He would never have guessed this could happen.

I recall another quote that I probably learned at my mother's skirt, "You can kill a man but you can't kill an idea." Medgar Evers

The idea is one that my family has been involved with for decades - Freedom!

We have elected to, "Live free or die" On the souls of all that have come before us, freedom is all that we ask. Freedom sweet freedom! What dat do? Liberty or Death

Rosa Parks regarded by many as an important force in the civil rights movement started her courageous act with simple defiance of something that she could no longer tolerate. She was just fed up with a LIE. Who is telling you lies?

There are many more heroes and sheroes in this parade. History wants us to forget about the freedoms that we have so fervently pursued. Scream at the top of your lungs. FREEDOM!

Alternate Universe

Alternate Universe
Originally uploaded by unohuu.

We all have free will. We can choose to be nice or peaceful or evil or wise or truculent. We may not always be aware of our choices, but they exist. Each moment in our lives is a choice immediately followed by another. That makes our existence difficult at times, but so rewarding at others. With free will comes temptation and indulgence. With free will comes consequence. With consequence comes punishment and reward. Reward leads to repeating the behavior with the hope of more reward. Many of us also forget that extinction works almost as powerfully as reward. We want to avoid the negative consequences for our behaviors (maybe thoughts and feelings since we do not have a firm grasp on this).

We confuse temptations offered with reward. We convince ourselves that we somehow deserve that which is placed before us. Status, money, power, lust, fame are but a few. That is our failing. We falsely assume that we can repeat the rewards. Often we may, but what happens when we do find that single honest (wo)man? Are we willing to risk it all? It seems that too many of uss are. Do I want to tempt fate?

Somewhere in the midst of all this comes justice and righteousness. The signals coming in are deterrents to clarity. Evil seeks to derail us all and deprive us of what we might have. Gluttony, murder, lust. Some of those deadly sins. Vanity according to Dustin Hoffman. We are repeatedly sought out for our weaknesses rather than our strengths. Humility is the key. Don't rest on your laurels. One right choice does not a saint make.

Pathetique

Sometimes my job truly sucks. I am working with a mother. She has four children with two different dads. She is strung out again and can't take care of her children. She has had at least a couple of treatments since this time last year. Her kids finally reach her on the telephone...she simply tells them not to call her anymore - it is too hard for her. Now this becomes my job. How do I soothe their tortured souls?

I am working with another mom. Drug of choice - meth. Ice and crank for those of you in the know. Highly addictive. Worse than crack they say. Controlled by motorcycle gangs where I live. She visits with her kids weekly. She does not do her UAs. She does not participate in therapy. She does not think that her meth habit is bad. She knows people who have it really bad. Of course, they either already lost their kids or are in the system yet. She whined today because everybody she knows is locked up or incarcerated somewhere.

What does this have to do with Ms POA? Nothing and everything. She would prefer that total strangers have better access to our mother than we should. She finally takes ancient advice and elects to get out mother into Adult Daycare. Horrible when we thought of it and suggested it. Brilliant when the idea "dawned" on her and the CNAs. See that I am invited to visit with my mother at the ADC, as long as I call ahead. Number provided, but not her scheduled days there. That would not be fair. Keep us guessing or at the least keep us on the edge of insanity. Talk with the HEADMASTER first. You beginning to get the gist of how this is all supposed to work? I am!

What Now

My sister's custom made order came in the mail over the weekend. I know that the judge wanted to get this off his desk as quickly as possible. In reality we have to make a decision about choosing to continue this or making the choice to settle back and wait for their next move. In reality this tail is still wagging the dog. Here are the new developments. My mother has a new CNA. Her name is the same as a Japanese electronics company that we have had conflict with because of security violations. Why are children named so capriciously by their parents?

My mother allegedly will be attending an adult daycare program a few afternoons per week. We first mentioned this to Ms POA a bit more than a year ago. About the same time that we first started the major conflict with my sister. Imagine my surprise to hear that it is the same center that CKL and I first toured while I was there. Imagine my surprise that we are all invited to come by and visit. Imagine that the director has been given information about all of us? I can only imagine what the specific details include. How does one spell freak C-O-N-T-R-O-L. If it is not here idea it has no merit or value. Of course, even though we have not been able to see my mother - musical charades and chairs - we are invited to visit with her on one of the undefined afternoons at said ADC. Would she actually be there if I were to fly down to Hotlanta?

Orders from the Court

My sister had her nearly verbatim request transferred to an order. It reads that I abducted my mother with the assistance of my brother and father; that we all conspired to interfere with Ms POA; that we should no longer interfere with her POA and may only have specific kinds of contact with my own mother. That nebulous 'interference" is part of the annoying nature of all that is going on. Round goes to the one of us who went to law school. Next skirmish is yet to be determined. Dare we consider appealing the wise old judge's decision or allow her to have this as a Pyrrhic victory? Suggestions surely considered.

Today I Dare to Dream, Again

Still cold here. The temperature is hovering around 0F. That certainly is not record setting cold, but we have short memories and fantasies that winters were never this bad before. My first winter in MN, resulted in 23 inches of fresh snow, plummeting temperatures and a number of deaths. This was January 1975. I remember this fondly because I left Chicago on a Greyhound and it was still snowing when I arrived in Mankato, many hours later. It snowed steadily for a couple of days. School was cancelled and the Highway Patrol issued travel warnings and started to close the interstate highways. Of course the crazed college students played in the snow and dared to venture out to the gym for pickup basketball games.

Other things I recall about the weather here. I recall that we always had a warm spell in January. Sometimes referred to as the Thaw. Temperatures in the 50s and 60s and then the return to our normal January temps.

This year there was not really a thaw. Not weather-wise at least. My life went through a brief thaw-like period. A couple of good weeks around my birthday. But the freeze is back in again. I am weary of all the emotional trauma and drama. Without going into too much detail, suffice it to say that the joy of the rollercoHow aster wears thin after some time. Being an introvert struggling to live in the world where extroversion is encouraged is difficult. There are so many times when I wish to retreat into a book or some quiet place. But not so easily done. The demands on my energy and time are constant.

How many of us have allowed our dreams to simply die? We compromised and made deals with our devils. We became shells of ourselves for convenience sake or social pressure. We let go of the very idealism that kept us alive when we were young and ready to change the world so that it could just be a better place. When did we stop putting our best foot forward? When did we start to listen to the naysayers? When did we stop loving life and start fearing death? When did we become so careful?

This year will continue to be a year of reflection; a review of the life I have lead until now and a preparation for the kind of life I want to live now and in my future. My dignity and self-respect have to stay intact. I want to know about love (and hurt); life and death; humility and honor. I am going to have to dream the impossible dream.

Snowfall

We all over slept here at this house this morning. It would not be unusual for my wife and daughter to sleep all day if the house were quiet enough. It was unusual for my son and for me. I am usually awake before dawn and the kid is just moments behind me. We managed to get them fed and into my wife's car and off to school. My son left his lunch on the table with breakfast. I decided this was a good day for me to have lunch with him. I rushed off to work; through the snow and frost. Seems we have again forgotten how to maneuver around when a bit of the fluffy stuff finds the ground. Maybe it is GLOBAL WARMING that is to blame. Minnesota is no longer the frigid ice box in the USA. More migration here from all those places because of our history of great welfare. Nah...I think it is just numbskulls driving trucks with poor traction and differential problems and the SUV drivers who think they are impervious to skidding, sliding and damage. I made it in to work.

Tomorrow is another busy court day. Hearing in the morning. Hearing in the afternoon and paperwork and such in between.

Miracles Everyday

some great photos from the party. we have had better parties or at least more controversial parties, but this was a one-0f-a-kind enjoyable party. perhaps because it was so cold outside or maybe just because the kids are better able to care for themselves. this party was not without problems. i had to take one of the kids home in the early a.m. i had to struggle to keep my eyes open at 4:30 a.m.

killing me softly with his song. this one reminds me how important it is to say what you think about people when they can hear you. so tell people that you love them, or tell them what they mean to you. my family is that important to me. how important are your loved ones?

Who are your heroes today?

-30F

it is cold here tonight. we have a house full of 9-10 year old boys here for a birthday party. i do not think we ever had sleepovers when i was a kid. probably just a peculiarity of my own upbringing. my daughter is sleeping over someone else's house tonight herself. maybe this is the modern version of getting a sitter for the night. maybe we just do not have enough time for the kids to spend together during the day. these young ruffians have eaten DQ ice cream cake, munched on pizza and grapes and pineapple and sucked down gallons of soda. should be an interesting evening as they start to drop off (it is just after midnight now).

modern relationships have strange and amorphous boundaries. i worked this party with my wife and ex-wife and ex's boyfriend for a while. these kids all play basketball or soccer or go to the same after school program together. they have had a blast. i thought we should let them choose their own activities. my wife thought we should go out in the arctic weather to find a movie that these kinetic energy balls have not seen. inertia proved to be smarter than all of us. as some of the kids arrived later than others they were able to blend into activities already started. you can only imagine the energy that Naruto and Cartoon Network can generate.

i will wake the boys up in the morning and make them all breakfast while my wife dashes off to church. she is dancing tomorrow. i will miss Sunday School.

Influenza A

it has been a harried week here at our house. LK had a raging fever last week and ended up with the flu. means no school. he missed a birthday party on Saturday and a basketball game. he was miserable so everyone around him was miserable. we spent 3 solid days here at home. it was getting colder and we watched cartoons and read books and opened his birthday presents early on Monday.

Tuesday I had a tough day. My wife was also home as she had managed to splash hot oil and steam into her face and wrist while cooking. she usually will not heed any suggestion i offer so we had her call the nurse's line. they told her exactly what i had told her. they spent more time talking with her and getting details and information. she would not take the analgesic though. go figure. it is almost as if it were all my fault. i tried to warn her that she was cooking at too high a temperature, but why listen to me. add in one sick child and i feel like mashed potatoes tonight. i had to keep the kid home for three days and he decided he was ready for school on Thursday.

i missed three pleasant days from work and then had the run-in with one of those never likeable professional victims that seem to be all over my caseload right now. after she gave me a mouthful of her observations on life and religion, she called me right back this morning to tell me how horrible I am and that she should not be talking with me at all. I agreed she should listen to her attorney. but she is trying....always trying and never getting enough encouragement from me. she can't believe that i am not paid to be her cheerleader. it is often incredible to see the expression on a client's face when they find out that i am really the child's worker and court liaison rather than the adult worker.

home to chaos and mayhem, but it is mine, so here i am...end of the week, and it is colder than imaginable to the rest of the country. but we like it here.