Musical Mama

Remember playing musical chairs as a child? I do! What brings this on? Two things happened this week that take me down memory lane. We went to the History Center yesterday in search of Kwaanza Celebrations and did not find one. We had a pleasant time though looking at the various exhibits. One in particular displayed a typical 1950-1960s era backyard. A picnic table and hopscotch were the two big attractions. My kids worked on that hopscotch square. It all came roaring back from the deep recesses of my brain. They had fun and I got to see them doing something other than walking around with iPods and handheld games players.

Second thing that happened is that my sisters are actually playing move the mother around the Atlanta metro area. I know that they live many miles apart and her house is somewhere between the two houses, but it really makes it tough since no one from that house ever initiates a call to us. We have to go through the phonebook in order to track her down. It is frustrating. Very frustrating because the court room characterization was something completely different than what was our reality. If one were to listen to the evil twins, one might easily believe that all they do is pamper my mother. To the contrary, I think she is frustrated because they are constantly vigilant and hounding her. Imagine the CNA telling my wife that she was too busy to talk and that it was advised that she call back in the evening when the POA sister might be at home. Also they alleged that all the travelling was too disconcerting for Mama, but JFL has taken her to Charleston (for Thanksgiving) and has recently taken up second residence in her home some place in Marietta. Of course the d$*n CNAs get to travel with her where ever she goes. As long as they are calling the shots about medical care and legal issues, we will not be allowed to have physical contact with Mama. After all, my sister, CT, is terrified of me. I am intimidating to her...how dare I?

Keeping the Porch Light On

Families have traditionally left the porch light on when someone is away. Away for the evening or off at war. My uncle mentioned this to me on the way back from Atlanta. No matter what your family does to you, there should always be hope of reconciliation. We have to because we do not know when we ourselves might cross the line. It's easy to lip off and tell you all the atrocities that my two sisters have committed. It is too easy to vilify them. What I think we all want is resolution. How? Good question!

Pyrrhic Victory

nothing like getting what you have asked for. seems that my sisters may have actually benefitted us in the long run. the judge did declare our mother incompetent. he went on and on about how she was not coherent enough or lucid enough to make a decision. no way to contract; just like a child. if she is not able to do that, then she can't express a desire that one could act upon. we simply have to sit back and wait for the guardianship hearings and process to unfold. that sucks because i suspect the games will continue in the pending process. it is painful to me knowing that those damn CNAs will have some limited control to my access to my mother. it is already playing itself out. CNA answers the phone when my wife calls; tells my wife that Mom is busy and has Alz's and best to call back when Ms POA is at home. i spoke to my mother twice yesterday. she seems to pick up when i call for some reason. i can hardly wait for the next confrontation with the hired witches. Pyrrhic Victory that this may have been for my sisters, it is still a sad day when the parents who paid for her law degree are abused and humiliated in court by her own hand. what price is her dignity? heaven only knows.

Dr Seuss of the Prevarication

Oh the places you go when you tell just one lie
Each lie has a life of its very own; don't cry.
It breathes and seeks company does not want to not die
from neglect or abuse in the ragged pursuit of the light of some truth.
each lie is like a frown or a chipped tooth or crown
still functions somewhat although not at its best
for lying is like dying or wearing a vest.

more decoration than functional is a wearer of vest
surely is. not pants, nor coat but a simple kind of test.
a test of your charisma and smile
ability to fake if just for a while.

each lie has a brother and sister or two
each lie has a way of another one, but two
or more depending on what is the goal. each lie
is a death bell ringing its toll
the toll is for honesty and love and truth
each lie kills a moment of passion and youth
for lies serve no man nor woman it's true
each lie is an insult to me and to you.

today i heard lies like i have not heard
each lie was a gift-wrapped stinking old turd
made up to look like the Rosetta Stone
when in truth this lie was a worn out bone
gnawed and left out for flies
these lies had lies in place of their eyes.

and so in the end...when the lies were all said
the wizened tired judge just bashed in our heads.

OK!

i think i am starting to make some sense of all this. i chased my mother down after a few phone calls at Ms POA's house. Ms POA answered the phone and was so pleasant with me. completely oblivious to the fact that she is suing me and attempting to keep me away from my own mother, unless of course, she or one of her lackeys is supervising me. must be some kind of personality issue resulting from attending law school. a certain section of the law school understands the mechanics of the process but does not comprehend that the actions affect people's lives. we are all patiently hoping that she 1) comes to her senses; 2) accidently leaves the USA (she does not have a passport) and can't get back in; 3) has another PE (this one is the evil thought in my own head). she probably already has some kind of dragon-like representative to take over where she left off. well, news flash, i do not want to be friends with the self-absorbed, fatuous family member who happens to take people's emotions so cavalierly.

i am going to fly to chicago tomorrow, and have my dad and uncle meet me at the airport so we can hasten on down the road to Hotlanta one more time. this time, though i am booking a one-way ticket with no certain return date. will keep posting as long as i can find a Starbucks, Barnes and Noble and a few other T-Mobile HotSpots to log in from. Wish me luck!

What If...?

I am sitting here in Minneapolis.... It is Sunday morning. I have written an email to my sister and her attorney telling them to stay the course. It is unseasonably warm here in a decade characterized by unseasonably warm winters. Minnesota is usually blanketed with snow by this time of year. In a year when we have seen so many changes, I am thinking. I am wondering if Atlantis had been dry land before it was swallowed up by the seas. Global warming is a reality. We can ignore it, but that will not stop the flooding and eventual destruction of human civilization as we know it. Maybe there will be some who will be able to evolve and become sea creatures. May the dolphins and porpoises are already there. Maybe we can slow this down. Maybe we will take drastic measures to reverse the whole process. Somehow I doubt that this will happen. If evil exists simply because the good do nothing, then we all have to act and act now. We have to think about the impact our daily commute takes on the environment. We have to think about our free spending and planned obsolescence business strategies hurt us all in the long run. Why don't we force autmotive manufacturers to build the kind of cars that we know we need? We could if we cared. We could if we would give up the travelling living rooms and entertainment centers that our vehicles have become. We could if we truly understood the implications of one needless trip to the Mall of America or Ikea or National Camera Exchange has on our collective existence. We don't though. We only see the small amount of litter in our own yard. We have great jobs so we do not worry about the cost of rising fuel prices and the rising cost of goods associated with the fuel prices. We have not been good stewards of what was left to us. We will pay and sooner than we think. Malthus was right; he just did not understand that we would reach critical mass for another reason. So go and buy the Christmas and Channukah presents that will soon be in an outerspace landfill. What is the difference between what we want and what we need. What if we really knew and really cared?

Simply, Thanks!

yesterday in the elevator at work, a charming 3 or 4 year old boy smiled at me, and said hello. at that particular moment, it was the most beautiful smile i have ever seen. a gift...love; unconditional and perfect, just as it was given.

two days before when i was at the courthouse for a hearing two beautiful towheaded children squealed with glee each time the elevator descended to the next floor. again, i took a moment, looked at the adults with them and smiled. i shared that each precious moment of life should be appreciated with that much joy. another glorious gift.

why do we needlessly suffer?

...and the beat goes on!

just when you could begin to think that it might possibly be safe to come in away from the dark and cold, out jumps Mata Hari. ready to decimate and destroy with another fleece bag of legerdermain. pompous and self-righteous and indignant. read my lips. i am tiring of this. how much longer must one endure the shenanigans and hoopla of your incessant dog-and-pony showed geared to show us all how smart you are and how smart we are not?

Check!

I was wrong...since our nemesis is playing this "game" for kill, we should employ similar "loving" and equally lethal strategies. A common mistake among socially conscious people. As it appears that she will not be satisfied until she hears the collective death rattles of our hearts, we have to find an equally lethal (to her) but non-lethal (to ourselves and souls) response. I started to wonder if such a thing exists in nature. I came up with a few. Porcupine fish; skunk, porcupine are three that readily come to mind. These are simple but effective defenses. What got me to thinking this way? Seems that Da Judge could choose to have me arrested for my disregard of the Superior Court order from 10/5/06. Don't they have better things to do with their time? Or do some (note, I am not blaspheming ALL attorneys) attorneys have so little to really do that they concoct these diabolical and pretentious schemes. What a waste of an expensive education! What a waste of talent! If we could divert just a small portion of the Machiavellian madness to constructive use, we could probably resolve the Peace Accords, the Global Warming conundrum and answer the question of whether the chicken or the egg came first.

Our very own Desdemona must be having a blast, as she directs this chaos from remote control. Easy for her to talk about how this family has rejected her when she has repeatedly closed the doors of communication and information sharing. Those CNAs, in reality, are permitted to have more of a relationship with my mother than I am. Can you believe that? Let's just hope this does not become a true battle of wits and cunning as that is certainly not the place for a family to use for basing decisions. Three strikes and you are out. Mate

Hmmm...

Arsenio Hall used to have a portion of his show that focused on things that got you to really think things through. I always enjoyed that part of the show. We are so trained to simply believe the tripe that we are fed that we often times suffer needlessly as a result. Here is one such example. If a POA is not revocable and my older sister formerly held the POA in Georgia, how is it that Ms POA could have that formerly unrevocable POA revoked so that she could snatch it away? How then does one choose to do what is simply an absolute and then claim foul? How can one allegedly so knowledgeable of the LAW assume ignorance of the law? That is a real head scratcher! Nothing more to say. Let's see if the GOBs club (lawyers) is willing to do the right thing when we return to the Halls of Justice next week.

Rush, rush, rush! It is that time of year. We find ourselves trying to be in too many places with smiles on our faces. We are all already stretched beyond the limits. Stress is up in the US of A. We work more and play less than any other "civilized" peoples on the planet. All in pursuit of heart attacks, ulcers, migraines, alcoholism and early death. We have another name for this pursuit (money). When is enough simply enough? Asking Ms POA this question could probably lead to my demise. See there is a chance that she will try to have a defunct order enforced if I should dare show in court. Flaunting her legal muscle. What would that be? Machismo does not fit. Chauvinism comes close but is too demure for the kind of megalomania that she experiences. I will have to simply ask any readers to help me with this coinage. What say you?

Back to court. And back to the trip to Chicago then to Louisville then on to Atlanta. Of course, I will miss more work. I will again exhaust myself and estrange myself from the kids and my wife for the three or four days I will be gone. It is exhausting. That simple much I know. Days for recovery from the emotional and physical ordeal of sleep deprivation and white line fever. Pray that there is no snow when I leave here.

Merry Christmas, Baby!

This is the face of the evil man who abused his mother. I was supposed to be more sinister looking....maybe with a jail or prison tatoo. of course my sister has not had me arrested yet. she did that to my sister (that should read our sister, but family status is rapidly changing). i think i would have a tough time holding dear someone who purposefully had me jailed and then ignored this simple oversight. so i took this photo in the new studio i am sharing with a couple of other photographers. i should have had my contacts on this day...maybe i would not have dropped that very expensive and near impossible to find flash tube. but i did drop it. i probably will not be able to replace it and will need to have a new flash soon. really do not want to spend the money, but i really do not want to go back to having just one light. oh well, if i had not just spent so much money on attorney fees and airfare i could have easily paid for a new lens, a new light and lots of presents for my children and wife. but that was my simple choice. assist my family or splurge on my family. wonder what Ms POA will be doing this year for Christmas? i understand that she will be taking a LOA. she has some plans to do something that no one knows about yet. of course, her plans will include our mother. Mom can't be beyond her control and abuse for too long. she might have the freedom to make some of her own life choices again. of course, Stockholm Syndrome is tough to diagnose in a senior citizen.

what's in your photo scrapbook? mooks like me, i hope. most of us are simply good honest people. most of us are not the CSI type criminals we see everyday on prime time TV.

we are a minister, social worker and an international organization developer. we are not the monsters that they would have you believe we are. yes, i held my mother's arm...i held it gently and supportively so that she would not stumble. of course, it depends on what one wanted to see.

Safe

So, just as i thought it might be safe to go back and play nice with everyone, the clarion again summons us back to the Hotlanta. Of course, there is a bit of strategizing going on here. I am certain that my sister has masterminded the date so as to prevent the reappearance of my father in court. she may have been momentarily stunned last week, but she has recouped and has redoubled her efforts to preserve her Glass Menangerie. liars have to build incessantly. the conniving and Machiavellian manipulations must drain her of what little energy she has. i can't imagine maintaining the prevarications that she must have to do. i guess that is why all the flunkies are lined up behind her. i was told, that one such nincompoop, went so far as to describe my behavior as abrupt and rough with my mother. there must be a special section of the Hell that they experience while they wait for the demon to divide the ill-gained spoils. i, though, am a mere simpleton, who honestly believes that the divine light of truth will not be quenched and will continue to shine and show the evil-spackled subterfuge as what it is. i do not wish my sister ill; simply wish that she would stop and come to her senses. after all, as an attorney she knows that she may win in the short run, but she can't maintain these pretexts indefinitely. what might actually happen when my mother makes her appearance in court? can she continue to lie, cheat and steal what is not hers?

Passive Aggressive People

i feel like i am surrounded by them...constantly being bushwacked because i am an easy target. seventeen year old i have not met blames me (not her mother) that she is now in shelter. mom who was TPR'd last month calls just so she can blast me. court scheduled for later this month. i want to tell myself that my PA sister had nothing to do with notification coming just one day short of the 2 week airfare discount window. deep in my heart though i am certain that she and her cronies are hoping that i can't be available to assist again in the process. i walk in the door from my last week of studio lighting only to be blindsided by my wife. she is angry (but can't say that she is) and wants to start a fight. i want to avoid one at all costs because i am already emotionally drained. time to slink off to bed now. wish me luck. or not!

Help is on the Way!

"...he may not come when you want him, but he will be right there on time... " Whitney Houston

today is one of those days. I should be happy. I can get rid of a couple of cases. One child going to Arkansas to live with maternal grandmother. Another child successfully TPR'd. That is certainly an oxymoron. Happy but bittersweet day. Another broken and disrupted family. I know that this family was broken before I met them. We could not put this Humpty-Dumpty together again. I get to close a file. I get to stop working with this very difficult mentally ill mother. I get to fantasize that I did the right thing. I can tell myself all of this. It still does not take away the sadness and pain of a mother's heartache. It does not compensate for the vitriol and bad karma that will come my way. No good deed goes unpunished....

Fini

So much to do and so very little time in which to finish it all. The drive back from ATL was horrific...I left MSP late which meant for a later than anticipated arrival in Atlanta. Short and hot phone conversation with my paranoid sister. She thinks conspirators are all around her. Actually is just a symptom of the brain fart she must be having. Guilty conscience. Sold out by sister. She has forgotten about the sacrifices our parents made. She wants to become something that she can never be. She remains delusional. She swears she heard someone tapping my cell phone conversation. No reasonable amount of assurance was helpful. I eventually had to tell her good bye and hang up the phone. Of course, her paranoia prevailed again. I was able to talk with my mother on Friday when waiting for something....as most of Friday is simply a blur of driving and rain and snow and road weary eyes...white lined fevverish driving. All just so we could hit the big snow storm just as we left Indiana. Two hours of sitting on a ramp waiting for a tractor trailer combo to move from the center of the ramp. We all have to void our bladders and we are getting short with each other because of the long hours we have kept. UJ and I managed to hold off the Kahuna long enough to get us back to his house. I am still recovering from this. But it is not over yet. Stay tuned, as they say!