Gone

Will be on vacation for a couple of days. This is good news as I need a break from the chauffering and monitoring and cooking. Get to share that with someone else for a while. There will be other adults there as well; kids can play together or not but there will be company other than each other for a spell. I am guessing the 13 year old wants to isolate herself from anyone and anything that does not meet with her approval - but she is not judgmental. Hypocrisy is what she looks for and thus finds with everyone with whom she comes into contact. Tough to be judging everyone and everything you know. In the absence of the familiar, one has to fabricate or CREATE normalcy. What does it feel like? What does it look like? Through the eyes of a young woman who is struggling to define and re-define who she is and who she wants to be, this real work.

There are so many pressures that exert themselves on the weakened psyches of our children cum adults. Music, movies, TV, pop culture, religion, drugs, sex and sex appeal, adults, other kids, dancers, liars, and thieves. Some wonder how this generation might make it out unscathed. But perhaps that is not the point. Unscathed might mean unaffected and having given no thought to what surrounds us. Perhaps the best of us take what we can from our society and leave the dregs behind. Those of us who have already come this far have a much altered perspective of what it means to "grow up". We of the Leave it To Beaver and Ozzie and Harriet generation have suffered. We couldn't hear when our parents told us and our children can't hear us....Think of it as inter-generational deafness. We probably can't stop them from making some of the bone-headed mistakes our parents tried to warn us of. They have to meet and face Joe Black on their own terms with their own language in a much different sounding/looking/tasting/feeling context. Let's just be there to support them when they fall and to cheer them on when they fly...and fly many of them will. You wait and see.

I Joined a Co-op

I am excited. Besides the online prints, those who live near or pass through Minneapolis can touch a print. Yes, it means more work...it means I actually have to mat and frame before it is sold. But it is a good process. In addition to my photography, there is wonderful work from a variety of artists. There is jewelry and some handmade soap. There are gifts in all price ranges. Check it out.

Lunacy or Big Brother

Just One Brief Pause, originally uploaded by Lukasia.

I know that a city the size of NYC has its own brand of special problems. I can't imagine the pressures the councilpeople and burroughs presidents must have to appease the constituents, but this might be going too very far. Weep as we watch freedom take a back seat to lunacy. Read between the lines and see potential for abuses like we have not seen in years. Speak quietly and allow our precious freedoms slip out the back door of conservatism. Here it is for your review:

By Grace Rauth
New York Sun, August 23, 2007

New legislation before the City Council could make it illegal for New Yorkers to look at a naked neighbor.

Council Member Peter Vallone Jr., a Democrat of Queens, is proposing to outlaw voyeurism by extending a state law that forbids nonconsensual peeping with cameras. He'd apply the law to also include, in the city, peeping with the naked eye.

The law would target offenders who crane their necks to peer under the dresses of women scampering up and down subway stairs. But the legislation also would ensnare anyone caught glancing into the window of a private bedroom or bathroom, which, in a city full of densely packed apartment buildings, is a hazard or a pleasure of urban life, depending on how you look at it, or who your neighbors are.

"If you have an expectation of privacy and someone is looking at you, you would be violating this law," Mr. Vallone said. It would not, for example, protect someone who stands naked beside her living room window, he said.

The New York Civil Liberties Union said the legislation, which was officially introduced yesterday, was too broad and could lead to abuse. The bill's "lack of clarity confers a license for abuse on those empowered to enforce the law by leaving it up to the individual police officer to decide which kinds of viewing are lawful and which kinds are degrading and hence unlawful," the group's executive director, Donna Lieberman, said in a statement.

Under Mr. Vallone's bill, characters on the television show "Friends," which was set in New York City, probably would be serving hard time. The cast regularly watched a man who lived across the street, known as the "ugly naked guy." A nudist, he might not have pressed charges.

While the bill was designed to deal with repeat offenders who do their peeping in public, Mr. Vallone acknowledged that, "invariably, other situations are going to get caught up in this."

Violations would be considered misdemeanors, punishable by up to 90 days in jail and a $500 fine.

The bill states that it would be illegal for anyone to deliberately view another person in a private place when they are in a state of undress, having sex, or using the bathroom, without that person's knowledge or consent. In a public place, it would be illegal for a person to deliberately or repeatedly go to a position to view "another person's sexual or intimate parts" when "such parts are not otherwise visible to the public."

A spokesman for Mr. Vallone, Andrew Moesel, said the law would be easier to enforce than some might think. A victim of peeping would be able to call the police and give a description of the offender.

Just One Brief Pause

Just One Brief Pause, originally uploaded by Lukasia.

Everybody is watching someone at the fair. My son was tired and we took a few minutes for him to put his feet up on the wall. While I was there I had a chance to really look at the people at the fair. They were coming from all over the place as we sat by the main gate. Crisscrossing lines of stragglers, gaggles of gawkers, haphazard groupings of hedonists in search of "something on a stick" to eat. This dad and his son sat down near us for a few brief moments. I wasn't sure who needed the rest more - dad or son. I am betting it was dad since he is carrying the tyke on his shoulders.

Life is filled with poignant moments like this. We get to see what is going on if we simply stop long enough to disengage from the maelstrom. This morning I am going to pick up an internet colleague to deliver a lens I sold to him and to carry him and his wife to the airport. They are from Norway. This is a pleasure for me. All because I elected to stay home and take care of the kids.

My sister (Ms POA) has sent me a note indicating there will be some caregiver changes for my mother. It starts in its usual cheery style. I still ask myself what she has to be so bubbly and cheery about. Time will tell. The attorney indicates we are waiting to hear from the appellate court and that it could take months. Of course, this is how fast and accurate the justice system is. With this I better close, before I end with some vitriolic rant about fairness and being kept from my own mother.

Monster

Monster, originally uploaded by Lukasia.

It's State Fair time again here in MN. I volunteered this year for MNartiists and went Friday afternoon for free. I rushed so I could get to the Cities 97 stage and maybe see some live performers (John Resnick and the Goo Goo Dolls). They were running late and the crowd was starting to thicken...(I hate crowds and being crushed). I looked around at that Cities 97 crowd and noticed so many blond haired blue-eyed people. I stopped to think that perhaps I should have been in another booth or so. Amazingly, I did not see another tanned or dark face....maybe that curly-haired girl waiting with her blue-eyed teeny bopper friends. I did get to hear Colby Callait from the studio.

I contemplated which of the forbidden grease-filled foods would do me the least harm. I tossed that idea into the roaring buzz of the growing crowd and headed right for the FRIED CHEESE CURDS that have done me in before. $4.75 later I had an oozing deep fat (but no transfat) heap of golden gooey cheese chunks. I ate half and remembered why I don't like them anymore. I thought about giving them away but thought better of that idea. Into the trash. Off to the Education Building.

A huge crowd just inside the front door waiting for the bag o's the season from St. Thomas University. This is the bag that will be filled with the freebies that people patrol the fair for. Yardsticks, magnets, buttons, cards, who knows and who cares as long as it is free stuff items.

My shift ended at 9:00...I strolled along the Midway. I was torn between watching and wanting to flee the fair as quickly as possible. I took a couple shots of the beautiful enticing lights of the midway and then beat a hasty retreat back to my car.

I get to go again today with the family.

Simple Things

Simple Things, originally uploaded by Lukasia.

I don't often have time during the week to stop and smell the roses. Life always seems more hectic than need be. This week was different. The kids were on vacation with their mother. I had time to enjoy a meal without rushing off to some practice or event, chauffer duty or house cleaning. I had time to think about what I want to do with my life, my photography, my career and my family. Thanks for this. This image is one small part of the extra time that I had. I walked around this train and looked and looked and looked. This is what I saw. This is the Elephant Sitting in the Living Room that we so often fail to notice. It is big and obvious, but in the midst of all that we constantly have going on, we do not notice the details. This is a larger part of something.

Two great things happened otherwise this week. One, someone requested one of my prints. She then created a testimonial about my photography that generated some strong emotion in me. The other also generated incredibly strong emotion. That was one of the foster parents calling to let me know that she appreciated my hard work and dedication on the case that most recently resolved. It is nice to have recognition for what we do. I should offer that in return to someone who I sincerely believe deserves it. Look around you; find someone and give that person a genuine complement. See how it makes that person feel and perhaps behave towards others.

Quickly

not much time before my battery dies here tonight. it has been an interesting couple of days. supervised visit tonight with a convicted sex offender. he has not seen his daughter in quite a few months. i thought he was kind of tough on her. i was also impressed with how tender he could be. that is the paradox of my job. i have to pass judgment on parents who probably have not had the luxury of good or great parenting. they are basically operating at the deficit level and then comparing themselves to some ridiculous Madison Avenue standard.

Lillies

More Lillies, originally uploaded by Lukasia.

i went to the conservatory today in preparation for my trial tomorrow. the lillies were beautiful...there was the sound of laughter from children as they raced up to the dinosaur to sit and have their photo taken. inside and out the sun shone beautifully and there was peace in my heart.

Goose with Wake

Goose with Wake, originally uploaded by Lukasia.

I have had some time to think about who is to blame for the bridge falling here in Minneapolis. Some people want to point their fingers at the Republican Party; some at the Department of Transportation; some at the "Thing That We Dare Not Call A War In Iraq"; others have conspiracy theories that place the blame on somebody. Here is my simple take. We (the penny-pinching, NIMBY, I Hate Taxes (Unless They Benefit Me Somehow Americans) or the I Don't Mind Being Taxed If It Is an Expenditure I Endorse group. The collective we who have forgotten that the purpose of taxes is benefit for the COMMON good. Amazing now that the first of the lawsuits are beginning to surface. We hate TAXES but we love to sue when something goes wrong. What if we are all to blame? Does that mean that we ALL have a responsibility to see that nothing like this ever happens again? Does it mean that we all owe each other apologies for our short-sighted thinking? Does it mean that we should remember this tragedy when the politicians start proselytizing on the campaign trail?

Or will be lost in the next awful thing that happens? Do we really care enough about this loss of life that we are willing to forego immediate returns on our stocks? Does this mean that we could look at a fair assessment and payment of taxes? Does this mean that we collectively decide that money is never as valuable as safety? Will this bleed over into corporate practices? Will we start paying fare wages? Will we make sure that all have health insurance? Will we eliminate homelessness here in the US? We should, but I fear that we will not. In the wake of this tragedy will there be a lone strong voice that can change our ways? I hope so! Maybe it is you. Have you thought about this?

Ideas

So I have this idea that a few good men need a lot of good press. I am talking specifically about your average African-American Joe. We have had a bad run of press lately. Sports stars behaving badly. Rappers and hip-hop artists saying doing and being outrageous. I have this idea that your average everyday non-African-American needs to know that we are pretty much just like they are. I'm thinking that the media does a poor job of showing just how boring my life really is. I don't have anything to do with dog fighting, raping women, abusing my spouse, or doping it up for sports or avoiding life.

Oh what is there to all this? There are just too many people who have some other agenda. I like the idea of showing what the everyday heroes are like. Simple guys who go to work, pay taxes, coach little league teams, mow their own lawns and shuttle kids to and fro. The world needs to know that these guys are the heroes. Those people who just work and play, shop at Sears and WalMart or Old Navy stores. Hunters and guys who like to fish on weekends or play a little soccer, golf, football, basketball, or swim. So tell me what you think. Will this calendar sell?

Random Thoughts

Now we can watch our politicians squirm. Do they really want to help us or is this just another manipulation to get re-elected? I am not sure. We have so much to be thankful for here, yet we are such awful penny-pinching twits. I only want to pay for the services that I think are valuable. If it does not affect me, then it must not be necessary. Of course, since I have all the money I could ever imagine having, I do not really need any services, thus my taxes should be low. I will only support candidates that will make sure that my agenda is the only real thing that appears in the media that my friends, fellow directors and country club members endorse. Just a thought.

Mom never showed at the hospital for her son's brain surgery. She was too busy doing something else to make it to the hospital during the 13 or so hours he was having brain surgery. Maybe we should have gotten a two-fer one. Kind of makes me angry, especially since she was late getting to her supervised visit with the other seven children (two in Chicago with sick grandmother). Yes, she does have 1o children. No she is not taking care of any of them. Go figure! She is now angry with me.

Spoke to mom last week...she misses us. I suggested she tell Ms POA that she would like to come for a visit. I know that even if she remembers that this situation is not likely. But it is an idea that we need to explore. Still waiting to hear what the appeals court has to say about the case from hell. We just have to have faith that someone will want to see true justice served. Someone out there has to care enough about fairness and acknowledge that elder abuse is real. That twit tried to get me nailed with an abuse or neglect finding. That would have also resulted in the loss of my job. The risk was there but now seeing how corrupt the people are that she has hoodwinked, I should have been more worried. Taking bread from my children.


National Night Out. Too hot here. No block party for us. Gotta go.

Pensive Moment

Pensive Moment, originally uploaded by discerning light (Luke).

what is the value of one human life? a few dollars that the state saved so very worth it so that the rich could have more money than they could spend in a few lifetimes? in the final analysis i think probably not. what if it were your family member sitting on that bridge? we too often think that we are above the laws of nature by virtue of our righteousness or wealth. we are not. i am really too extremely distraught to think about the gravity of this situation. America, we should be ashamed of ourselves. No life is so easily expended. Everyone matters to someone out there.

Blame Game

Now comes the blame game. Everyone will be busy distancing themselves from the responsibility for the catastrophe. Initially, everyone was telling reporters that the bridge had been inspected and should have been fine. Now a new version of the truth begins to dribble from the lips of the people who we trust to monitor these things. Government agencies who have smaller budgets because no one likes to pay taxes. Well, guess what folks, it is our infrastructure. We drive more miles in larger vehicles and there are more of us driving. Who should pay for that? But we want to be able to have it all. Finer homes, with pools and security systems and satellite dishes and ....We just do not want to pay for those "hidden" expenses. Pollution, degradation, deforestation, dirt, poverty, anarchy. There are some of us who think we can shield ourselves from these extras. We think that our enclosed enclaves are castles with moats. I can assure you they are not. We think that the police exist to protect us from the have nots. To some extent this is true...but even then we have dwindled the sheer numbers and they are overpowered and understaffed. They can't be in all places at all times protecting all the "haves" who are spread out all over the place. Who are we going to blame when the seams rip the "fabric" of our society into tatters? Smart money is on blame ourselves. Too bad that will not happen!

My mother called me last night. She wanted to talk. She misses me. I told her to call Ms POA and let her know that she would like to visit her son in MN. I am not sure she will remember this conversation. I think she recalls emotion states, but can't quite have the portions of the brain effectively communicating with each other. This is so very sad. I imagine part of it is frightening; another part of it is blissful. Being disconnected from the tragedy of your own reality could allow one to simply exist. There should be some simple pleasures. The captors that care for my mother do not know me; don't seem to care for me and do not acknowledge me. I get no information from them - although it has been requested. The tragedy of this all is that our family could avoid the blame game. We are intelligent. Capable of reason and rational though. We have opposable thumbs. Somewhere in the education process though a couple of us became predators. I hate these kind of people. People who prey on the most vulnerable in our society should be sent to Papillon Island. There they can learn about being victims.

Soon mother dear. Sooner than perhaps you know. There will be victory.

Crumbling Infrastructure

While we rebuild Iraq and allow our soldiers to die unnecessarily, for a lost war, our national infrastructure is crumbling. Today a bridge across the Mississippi River that is part of an interstate highway collapsed during the end of rush hour here where I live. Fortunately, at this time we do not have as many deaths as I feared we might. I am still too devastated to collect my thoughts about this, but we have diverted too much of our nation's income to fund a senseless war. I know that this was a freakish accident. I know that the structural engineers will likely say that it was not a maintenance or engineering issue. I know that we would likely not have spent the money on the infrastructure anyway. But we have let it go to pot here. Thinking about how this may affect our community for years to come. I know that my son and I were just talking about what to do or what one might do in just this set of circumstances.

Freedom

The party that purports to be about personal freedom and choices (school education, work, etc.) seems bound and determined to undermine the freedoms that most American have come to take for granted. What am I talking about? The slow erosion of freedom that started during a recent administrative coup. For longer than most can remember, the US has had great relations with our neighbors. Canadians and West Indians were free to travel with us to and fro without passports. Now we all need them. It is really a crackdown on Mexico and the unstoppable flow of workers across the lines. But we call it immigration reform. Everybody knows that the workers are here. They probably are not taking jobs from the segment of our population that has disdained those jobs anyway. We aren't really any different than other nations that have taken advantage of the poor workers from other places. I know that Swedes have hired help. So did my college roommates parents in the Bahamas. A Haitan woman if I recall correctly.

New York City wants to ban cameras and some other kinds of public gatherings. I think that it makes some economic sense. Charge people or at least keep track of who is doing what. Isn't that the real TRUTH. We want to monitor everyone and everything. That perhaps is the one truth that might set us all FREE again.