Bills

Since we started paying the lawyer for legal advice I have been perpetually broke. Always just one step behind some creditor. I hate this. No money to eat out; no money for this thing or that. I know that this is temporary. Eventually I will see the light of day again. I will not hate my sister for dragging our family into this abyss of dysfunction. I will have a regular relationship again with my siblings and money will be the least of my concerns. That time is actually already here. After the family of origin stress there is my own family of creation stress.

Of course, all this happened at the same time that I am paying for braces for my daughter. She also wants to see a therapist now because she has teenage angst and identity problems. I know who she is. She is the slob who lives in our basement and cranks up the music loud enough to disturb the neighbors. She is the ungrateful soul who mocks the house work here that keeps her warm and cozy. She is the petulant little wretch who throws her clean clothes on the floor after they have been washed, dryed, folded and placed in her room (no one allowed in her dresser or the closet). She is the little monster who is transforming back into a human being. I pray that I was not this horrible as a teen. I doubt that I could have been because I think I would have been dead thirty plus years now. My father would have killed me.

I guess you just have to keep on the path. One foot in front of the other.