my daughter's birthday party was this weekend. it coincided with a soccer tournament for my son. needless to say our lives were a complete blur. one of the girls had to cancel - she forgot about a wedding she would be attending. the party was a complete success. the houe was gushing with estrogen. endless change of clothes - simply for the pleasure and joy of exchanging outfilts. it was enough to drive me crazy.
i spent most of the weekend driving to the Pan-O-Prog Soccer Tournament. The boys were playing in too advanced a group and were like the trues lambs being lead to slaughter. they perservered though and will have probably seen what the high school competition will be like.
that's all for now, folks.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Dandelion
i am too tired tonight to write more than a line or two. the dandelion is a metaphor for how exhausted i feel. ready to be disembodied any moment now. trial starting in two days and i have so many documents to review. i am supposed to be refreshed though since i only recently returned from a relaxing 3 day vacation...Bluefin Bay this place is high on my list. the sounds of waves crashing against the rocks lulled me to sleep three consecutive nights. even my son noticed. i just have to go back there mentally and have that same sense of tranquility and balance back in my mind. a world where children can stay with their families, because they are not choosing "glass" over love. see you tomorrow following a bitter court hearing.
Monday, June 19, 2006
You Know Who
a few years back when i first started writing i thought i should have a nom de plum. after much consideration and looking at some of e e cummings's poems and reading some haiku i came up with the name - unohu. that has stuck with me through the popularization of the internet and now my own websites. so what does it mean? i do not know. i know that it has become part of my identity. perhaps a secret or hidden part, but part of who i am now. do my kids know who i am? no! how about my mother? nor does she! i will always be something other than unohu to her. more super secrets. who really does know us? very few people it seems. why is this? because of the rush and caustic nature of our exhausting lifestyles. our friends know that we have "little bit of the cap'n" in us, or know what our favorite beer is. most do not know who we really are. ask yourself. how much personal information has a friend recently shared with you. think about their divorce or the abortion or the embarrassing one night stand. ask them about lying in confession or how many times they have re-framed the truth so that it was not an inconvenience for them
this is what i have found out. the more you attempt to hide your real self the more evident who you are becomes. john sayles had this incredible sleeper movie, "The Brother from Another Planet". everyone in the movie project themselves onto this alien. we see what we want to see. we hear what we want to hear. many of us are in denial about what we actually feel, so we do not "know who we are".
the truth is that most of us are too lazy, self-absorbed, frightened or indifferent to ask the questions that would help us know "who you are". so that may be the reasons for so many blogs. self declaration. attempts to lay it all bare. do i know who you are? let's see!
this is what i have found out. the more you attempt to hide your real self the more evident who you are becomes. john sayles had this incredible sleeper movie, "The Brother from Another Planet". everyone in the movie project themselves onto this alien. we see what we want to see. we hear what we want to hear. many of us are in denial about what we actually feel, so we do not "know who we are".
the truth is that most of us are too lazy, self-absorbed, frightened or indifferent to ask the questions that would help us know "who you are". so that may be the reasons for so many blogs. self declaration. attempts to lay it all bare. do i know who you are? let's see!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Soccer Mom
i have this beautiful photograph that i am really proud of. i am fearful of showing it though, because it is an image of woman who is not my partner. i live in a semi-Victorian society that preaches beauty all day long but punishes those who simply admire the beauty. there is no statement attached to the image. it screams sensuality to me. i do not know if it moves others as it does me. that is not really important. this is a personal image. i suppose it is somehow different than thinking about Halle Berry since i have virtually (interesting word choice) no chance of actually meeting her. so here is what i like about this image. the near anonymity - the gentle sweeping curve of her neck, the sunglasses, the casual hair....it is a gestalt kind of experience for me. those that know me will not find this too unusual. probably just another form of my PECULIAR nature.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Talk
My world is filled with talkers. Everyone has something that everyone else needs to hear immediately. That means these talkers are constantly prattling on. When it is time for them to listen, they are still talking. Seldom a need for information as far as I can understand. I admit I could be more talkative. I could communicate my thoughts better. I could share those inner most (first ring maybe) feelings with others. I could but so many talkers and so few listeners make it easy to keep everything stuffed inside. I think that if some of the talkers would merely stop talking long enough the silence might get to the listeners. The deafening silence might beg for the gap to be filled with something else. What most likely will fill that silence though is the voice of one of the talkers who thought of something else that just couldn't wait.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Porsche
guess this is as close as i get to the Porsche for the rest of my life. this one the kids bought for me. like all the toys they buy they have appropriated it. i had to borrow it to shoot it for a photo project. i am more and more displeased with cars and all things that cause us to live so far away from everything. there was a time when i did not own a car, and travelled by bus, cab or bike. that made going to the grocery store a form of exercise. imagine pulling into Costco now with my little trailer to haul away the megasizes of laundry detergent or snacks. of course, i lived in an apartment that walking distance to Lund's and it gave me an excuse to walk there to pick up ice cream or something. now i could stop there for Caribou coffee, but i can't imagine i would let anyone drink that in the Porsche. see i am better off already.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Hennepin Avenue Bridge
We had our last soccer practice on Wednesday evening. The kids played hard and it was quite warm here. Instead of rushing home I made a bee line for DT Minneapolis. The setting sun was racing me across the way to the west. I mananged to get this shot of the bridge that spans the Mississippi River in Minneapolis on Hennepin Avenue. I also grabbed a beautiful Medicine Lake Sunset just before I got home. It really got me thinking about what life might be like after the kids are gone. Will I have enough health to do what I like then? Will I have enough money to travel and live abroad for long periods of time? Who knows! That is still quite a few years from now. Time will answer these questions. In the mean while I can enjoy all the beautiful sunsets in my here and now - that is after the soccer and grass and yard work and stuff is done.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Pets Friends Nuisance
Yesterday my daughter intentionally killed a spider. I found it extremely annoying. Yes, she hates spiders, but this one was not bothering her. It was simply doing its spider thing in our house. We have an old house - built mid-50s or so. It has bugs, like ants and night crawlers and such. Our basement is attached to the garage so I have seen silverfish on occasion when it is humid. Killing the spider was a selfish act. I told her a story - truly make believe. I wanted her to pretend that she was simply going about her business of being a pre-teen. Chatting on the phone and skipping around the detritus on the floor of her room. Some much larger being stepped on her - crushing her world and everything in it, simply because it was afraid of her. I did not yell at her; I did not lecture her, but I wanted her to know that this earth does not belong to us - we belong to it.
This morning I walked around before leaving for work. The guinea pig needed water, the bird that she just had to have needed clean water and food. What no food. I call my responsible daughter on her cell phone. "I guess we are out then" is her casual response. She and her brother will be gone a couple of days - DIVORCE - but I am thinking I might have to just not work on dinner Friday night because ....Those of us who keep pets have a justifiably huge responsibility to those animals. Off my soapbox now!
This morning I walked around before leaving for work. The guinea pig needed water, the bird that she just had to have needed clean water and food. What no food. I call my responsible daughter on her cell phone. "I guess we are out then" is her casual response. She and her brother will be gone a couple of days - DIVORCE - but I am thinking I might have to just not work on dinner Friday night because ....Those of us who keep pets have a justifiably huge responsibility to those animals. Off my soapbox now!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
contemplative
i was looking for something, actually contemplating something when i saw this image. what is it about moments of contemplation? is contemplation possibly a form of meditation when practiced correctly? can the world's problems be solved if more of us were more contemplative? my guess is yes. we would not have the vagaries of supply side voodoo economics. we would not have gotten involved in another expensive and indefinite war half way around the world under the guise of protecting our own interests. we would not be so likely to finance stadiums for billionaires and the millionaire sport figures who beg for them. we would have more intelligent conversations rather than simple rhetoric about global warming and what our place in the natural scheme of this finite resource planet is. we could come up with solutions to fossil fuels, have smaller neighborhoods, reduced work hours, substantial food resources and a more utopian-like existence. for animals that are so smart, we spend considerable amount of time making work for ourselves. maybe our dogs and cats have it right. eat, sleep, rest in the sun, play and start all over again. we scratch away for a meager existence to do a few things that we think will make us notable or famous or productive or something virtuous _________ . I guess you have to fill in your own blank here. So contemplate these things for a few minutes. What do you want your story to look like? BTW, this is not one of my images. I borrowed this from Matuko at flickr. Go see her work. It will give you something to contemplate.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Beatrice
Those of you who know me, know how important my relationship with my mother has been over the years. Six years ago she had a kidney transplant. My sister, Carol, was the donor. During the process of harvesting my sister's kidney (actually just moments before), Beatrice had a small heart attack, her brain was deprived of oxygen for a few mintues and the transplant operation ceased. (they were able to complete the transplant a few days later). Those few minutes though have turned into a life-robbing process of shaving numerous years from her life. It really is difficult to assess this though as she had refused dialysis for the years prior to her eligibilty for the transplant.
Each year we visit the Mayo Clinic and hear that the transplanted kidney is healthy. Once we were beyond the rejection phase of three months or so, we have had to add a knee replacement for her and watched her change from the strong and independent woman to a different mother. This mother loses track of time and space. She spits vitriol at her children in her confusion. She hides other people's possessions. I understand the why this happening. It does not make it any easier. So I will be combing my photographs of Beatrice so that you can all see the mother that I have loved all these years. I hope that you can eknjoy getting to know her as much as I have loved her.
See the sparkle in her eyes.
Beatrice is and always will be a teacher. She was my first teacher and it appears that she will continue to teach me about life, even now, as I watch her drift away from me.
Each year we visit the Mayo Clinic and hear that the transplanted kidney is healthy. Once we were beyond the rejection phase of three months or so, we have had to add a knee replacement for her and watched her change from the strong and independent woman to a different mother. This mother loses track of time and space. She spits vitriol at her children in her confusion. She hides other people's possessions. I understand the why this happening. It does not make it any easier. So I will be combing my photographs of Beatrice so that you can all see the mother that I have loved all these years. I hope that you can eknjoy getting to know her as much as I have loved her.
See the sparkle in her eyes.
Beatrice is and always will be a teacher. She was my first teacher and it appears that she will continue to teach me about life, even now, as I watch her drift away from me.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Brew
i really needed this today. today my sister (princess) and my mother left town. it was nearly a traumatic experience. i can't even really think about it too much yet as it leaves me feeling sad and morose.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Demented
Watching your parents become old and feeble is hard. I spent the day following a half-day at work driving to the Mayo Clinic to have a medical professional tell me what I already know deep in my soul. My mother (like her mother twenty years ago) is losing all touch with reality. I don't think she is really aware that this is happening because of the brain insult she had when she had her kidney transplant 6 years ago now. She is not oriented to time, space or place. She apparently did know that GHBush is president of the US and that she does not like him or his father. Maybe there is an emotional aspect to some of this. My mother has conversations that wander around the galaxy. She talks about her mother and told strangers on the elevator that she was on her way to visit with her. She talked about my dog being in the car with us. She talked about not wanting to be an inconvenience for any of us; she asked me why I was being so mean to her. She mentioned just moments later that she was really enjoying talking with me. She traversed half a century in moments and recalled moments from my childhood. Then she was back in the present or stopping on her way to a future that I am not privvy to.
I am the one who feels confused and worried. So we will have to have around-the-clock coverage for her once she returns to Atlanta. I spent a chunk of the afternoon searching for adult locator bracelets. Harder to find than I anticipated. GPS chips that can be injected under the skin; I think that we have that for lost pets. Maybe those are just ID chips. Bracelets, anklets, you name it. Cheap ($40) to expensive ($500). But you have to ask yourself; what price for your loved ones.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
ATM
I went to the ATM on my way to Rochester this morning. Mom was at the Mayo for her annual kidney checkup. it has been six years now. my sister, Jacqui, brought her up from Atlanta. Amazingly they managed to get along without killing each other yesterday. Few appointments though. it has become a ritual for my mother to become unglued shortly after she arrives here at my home...like all creatures of habit, she hates the disorientation of unfamiliar surroundings. obviously, my home is not similar to hers in any way. she lost her keys; she misplaced the TV remote (euphemism for hid it in her state of disorientation). i know those keys are here somewhere and i think i will find them before they head back to Atlanta.
ATM is because my sister, the lawyer, who is in charge of my mother's affairs, according to her, was too cheap to get parking, or buy my mother lunch today. she will reimburse herself for all the expenses and probably pay herself for the travel and accompaniment while she has been away from her legal practice.
mom again has agreed to the idea of ASSISTED LIVING. i am not sure if the RN talked her into it or my sister guided the discussion that way. what i know is that my mother will not recall agreeing to ASSISTED LIVING and there will be hell to pay with the siblings. here we go again.
ATM is because my sister, the lawyer, who is in charge of my mother's affairs, according to her, was too cheap to get parking, or buy my mother lunch today. she will reimburse herself for all the expenses and probably pay herself for the travel and accompaniment while she has been away from her legal practice.
mom again has agreed to the idea of ASSISTED LIVING. i am not sure if the RN talked her into it or my sister guided the discussion that way. what i know is that my mother will not recall agreeing to ASSISTED LIVING and there will be hell to pay with the siblings. here we go again.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Little One
My own little pointdexter-like child. He would never just smile for the camera, but these glasses that he found to hide behind gave him just enough of a prop that he would allow me to capture this image. Imagine that. He loved this!
Anonymous
life is full of surprises. there are so many events and moments that we can't plan for. i have been busy the last couple of weeks. last weekend i shot my second wedding. or at least part of a wedding - just the formals after the ceremony. but even then they were in a hurry. i was so surprised that i failed to follow through with the lighting that i wanted to achieve.
this is a photo from my studio lighting class. i was pleased with the results. it was a surprise as well since my camera would not work with the radio transmitter that the others had. oh well, make lemonade when life gives you lemons. if not that, then lemon custard, or lemon pie, or lemon something. i will get to shoot again.
this is a photo from my studio lighting class. i was pleased with the results. it was a surprise as well since my camera would not work with the radio transmitter that the others had. oh well, make lemonade when life gives you lemons. if not that, then lemon custard, or lemon pie, or lemon something. i will get to shoot again.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Reds' Rant
she came for a visit on Friday, before Mothers' Day. I am sure she did not know Mothers'Day was approaching, just as I am sure that she did know she was going to see her mommy. She was disappointed though, because Mommy never showed up. Not a tear was shed, nor any cry uttered. She is a trooper, perhaps all to accustomed to the stinging disappointment. I see too many of these placid and sad faces. This one makes me feel truly sad inside. I keep hoping that my work could soon come to an end. We could have better parents in our society. We could eliminate the shaming and debilitating poverty that is one factor in child abuse. We could make a dent in domestic violence and chemical dependency. We could laugh away at illiteracy. We could push racism and sexism out the door. We could do it all, but I now fear we don't care anymore. We all want Hummer H3s (the fuel efficient ones), LCD TVs, 6000 sf homes that we hardly have time to spend in because we are raging workaholics and playaholics. We do not know our neighbors. We do not care about life (except what we can immediately see and touch). We have endless arguments about stadiums and taxes. We have Democrats and Replubicans engaging in senseless rhetoric as our Rome is burning. We have global warming and instead of changing our lifestyles, we argue incessantly about who is to blame. We all are. Maybe she is somber because she is not sure she wants the inheritance that we are leaving for her.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Thoughts
I had two thoughts this morning relating to all the business in people's lives.
1st Thought: What would our lives be like if no one had ever been able to drive through a McDonald's or Burger King or KFC? What if you had to eat there or take it home? I thought about this because I was rushing off to donate blood this morning. In my business I forgot that they wanted to be certain that I had eaten something. Mickey D's; here I come. What impact might this have had on our society? What would it mean if we were not all facing the same way in the car when we started eating as we rushed from this place to that place? What would we have replaced the "car culture" with since nothing occurs in a vacuum? More importantly, what have we missed as we learn to love our cars as we do ourselves?
2nd Thought: Where are we all rushing to? Technology was meant to ease the burdens of our lives. Machines to do the grueling labor, computers to do what took so very many man and woman hours to do in the past? We have these much larger homes, and greater distances to travel regularly. We are a global community, but we often do not know our immediate physical neighbors. We have instant access to financial news, politics, scandal, and weather, but we often fail to take time to utilize the information. We are more easily able to be entertained, yet we do not seem to enjoy and are constantly craving more. Are we insatiable? How much bad news can one person absorb? How much fun can one body take before it needs something sobering? Why so much excess? Perhaps you can tell me!
1st Thought: What would our lives be like if no one had ever been able to drive through a McDonald's or Burger King or KFC? What if you had to eat there or take it home? I thought about this because I was rushing off to donate blood this morning. In my business I forgot that they wanted to be certain that I had eaten something. Mickey D's; here I come. What impact might this have had on our society? What would it mean if we were not all facing the same way in the car when we started eating as we rushed from this place to that place? What would we have replaced the "car culture" with since nothing occurs in a vacuum? More importantly, what have we missed as we learn to love our cars as we do ourselves?
2nd Thought: Where are we all rushing to? Technology was meant to ease the burdens of our lives. Machines to do the grueling labor, computers to do what took so very many man and woman hours to do in the past? We have these much larger homes, and greater distances to travel regularly. We are a global community, but we often do not know our immediate physical neighbors. We have instant access to financial news, politics, scandal, and weather, but we often fail to take time to utilize the information. We are more easily able to be entertained, yet we do not seem to enjoy and are constantly craving more. Are we insatiable? How much bad news can one person absorb? How much fun can one body take before it needs something sobering? Why so much excess? Perhaps you can tell me!
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Less
i am just frustrated and tired of being stuck in the middle. i was born in the middle of my siblings. i am #3 of 5. two considerable older sisters and then the last three of us all bunched together over a short period of 4 years.
i live in a totally middle class neighborhood and i am surrounded by people who have wonderful middle class values. they work hard, they play a bit, save, travel and cut their grass every weekend from May until October. i work hard throughout my week and grass and yardworks are the last thing on my mind. i do not find it meditative or relaxing. i wonder why so much emphasis on the pristine lawn that the neighbors all pour petrochemicals on for fertilization and weed-killing. we don't really spend all that much time in our yard. we play at the soccer fields and badminton practices for the kids. we ride our bikes to the park and we eat on the deck (when the mosquitos are not too bad).
have we been duped into all this middle class manic acquisition as a means to support the megaindustrialists? do any of us really need Suburbans for hauling the kids to soccer? Or our home entertainment places that we are too busy to enjoy? i am thinking smaller is better now. i am thinking getting into a small well-designed home that does not keep me captive every weekend. what happened to weekend jaunts to exciting nearby places? romantic dinners in noisy little bistros and nights of dancing and laughing over beer with friends? is this why we are almost all overweight and developing disorders that the medical professionals are only now giving names to?
less is more in a way. i will keep you posted.
i live in a totally middle class neighborhood and i am surrounded by people who have wonderful middle class values. they work hard, they play a bit, save, travel and cut their grass every weekend from May until October. i work hard throughout my week and grass and yardworks are the last thing on my mind. i do not find it meditative or relaxing. i wonder why so much emphasis on the pristine lawn that the neighbors all pour petrochemicals on for fertilization and weed-killing. we don't really spend all that much time in our yard. we play at the soccer fields and badminton practices for the kids. we ride our bikes to the park and we eat on the deck (when the mosquitos are not too bad).
have we been duped into all this middle class manic acquisition as a means to support the megaindustrialists? do any of us really need Suburbans for hauling the kids to soccer? Or our home entertainment places that we are too busy to enjoy? i am thinking smaller is better now. i am thinking getting into a small well-designed home that does not keep me captive every weekend. what happened to weekend jaunts to exciting nearby places? romantic dinners in noisy little bistros and nights of dancing and laughing over beer with friends? is this why we are almost all overweight and developing disorders that the medical professionals are only now giving names to?
less is more in a way. i will keep you posted.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
i saw this posted elsewhere. i could not find a person to credit it to, but i am acknowledging that this is not mine. i do think it is great advice. you have to decide for yourself. some of it may be useful, some not. take what you need and leave the rest for someone else.
ADVICE, LIKE YOUTH, PROBABLY JUST WASTED ON THE YOUNG
June 1, 1997
Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.
I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
ADVICE, LIKE YOUTH, PROBABLY JUST WASTED ON THE YOUNG
June 1, 1997
Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.
I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
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