No Joy Today

It has been very hard lately to connect with people in my family.

My son is in his own little iPhone music-secluded world.

My daughter is trying to live on her own, but always seems to be in need of something.

My wife...that's a story.  But it is for another day.

I am struggling right now to do what I know are the right things. I am tired of caring and wanting to be there for others.  I am sad because I just feel like an open wallet or the doorman at my house.  Cook, dishwasher, laundry boss, janitor would all fit into this nicely as well.  I can't seem to find much energy for people outside either, because the world is a fractured and divided place.  Republicans and Democrats spend their time convincing the base of the party that the other is destroying our country.  Blacks

don't like Whites.  No one likes the Mexicans.  We have completely forgotten about the Native Americans.  As long as the Asians stay quiet, do well in school and build better things for us, we are OK with them.

I really just want to leave this all behind me and stay in an off-the-grid solar, wind, and energy efficient home where I can stare out at majestic scenery all day, cook myself organic and healthy meals and walk through that scenery to remind myself that it does not have to be the way I feel inside.  I know that there is beauty and with beauty comes ugliness.  I know there is kindness and the converse of that is meanness. I know many generous and giving people who more than make up for the greed and stinginess I see daily.  I have to spend more time with these creators of harmony, peace and joy.