Sinners

Let's Make a Negative a Positive, originally uploaded by Lukasia.

One part of me wants to know what goes on inside a place with this kind of name. Knowing that it is in the sex district also makes me certain that the name is just the tip of an iceberg waiting to sink my seaworthy relationship if I should be found anywhere near this. Lots of ideas and lots of suggestion. That is a woman's body in neon for me. I can imagine that she is partly clothed or nude. But what is really the point of a place called sinners. Imagine the boys spouting off to the wives that they are headed out to Sinners for a beer. Protests come from the wives and GFs but the men ad lib and tell them that the TVs are special here. Or perhaps there is a certainly quality of conversation that can only be found in a Sinners-like environment.

But that is not really the issue for me. Why do we still have places like Sinners? Are our sex lives so poor that we have to go out and ogle strangers? What is it that we get when we see the women spread-eagled or whatever your fancy? I am not sure that it would mean much to me at all. Or maybe it is that my hormones are low and I could use a testosterone boost! Who cares is what I say.

Blue

There are a few things that are/were significant this week. One of them would be a court hearing; another TLC, means another altered family structure. I have had to tell people painful things this week. I am emotionally fried. I am sad for the kids, happy for my work load. I got another new case today. The mother gave up on her kids a few years ago. They were living with their grandmother who is using again. Positive for coke. Now they live with their family friend Ole Savior . Have to talk about all the crazy things that happen except it does not really do us any good. Sometimes we have to use fostercare. Sometimes we just do the best we can. Still not enough.

Mental Health Day

Sometimes work is so hard. I went into a supervised visitation agency on Saturday because there were people who were concerned about a confrontation between the mom with ten kids and the four foster parents who care for her children. Interestingly enough she was not there on Saturday. I suspect that she had been arrested, for either the new assault charges or the probation violation. Still there is a tension that surrounds this kind of work violence. Always the threat of violence in my job. It would not be so bad if the constant worry about my family and my home could be avoided. My kids and wife did not sign on to the sometimes paralyzing fear that means knocking on a door could result in gunshots; or that a home visit might mean being ambushed and possibly tortured. But the real threats are few. Mostly toothless wolves barking and attempting to frighten.

Sorrow

Another family with another TPR...Mom's was voluntary; Dad's was not. I stopped by supervised visitation today to tell him. He wanted to put on a show for everyone. I resisted and patiently waited for him. The little girl cried and cried when he snatched her away from the foster parent. It was ugly. She cried for almost 15 minutes. Somehow she was soothed and calmed down. The sounds of these children crying is nerve grating to me. Especially this SOB dad who is so disrespectful to everyone. I am tired of the snippiness and disrespect that surrounds me. Everyone wants something but few are willing to give something. I am not looking for a fair trade or an even deal; I simply want to know that others appreciate the energy and time and love and patience and understanding that often goes into what is given. Is that too very much to ask?

Just Catching You Up with Me!

There is a whole lot of stuff going down. War and rumors of war in Iraq. Civil unrest in the Far East. I guess Myanmar doesn't have natural resources that we covet. Or maybe we fear the Great Red Peril. Lots of murder and mayhem right here at home. Interest rates are being manipulated by the Federal Reserve. My wife screaming about 4% pay raises for U of M union employees yet making a tough decision today whether to offer a new employee 58K or 59K and having to bump a senior employee up to 60K (8% raise she says). Glaring hypocrisy there. After all as she says the damn union employees are lucky to have jobs at all. I feel a change a comin'. Maybe this is the war that Bob Marley sang of.

Today I talked with social workers about a Mom who assisted and abetted her 15-year-old son in an assault against family members. We are not sure if it is intimidation or gang initiation, but this pretty much seals those ten kids (count 'em) from ever returning to her care. She is already on probation for an assault. The son is also on probation for an assault and escape status from a juvenile correctional facility. Ouch. Another broken family that we can put band-aids on and move them on out the door. Triage 'em and move them on to somewhere else. We handle on the crisis cases. Stabilize them and send them back into the community. Define stabilization I say.

Dead Bird

A bird flew into the picture window here at our house this morning. It landed with a thud and fell to the ground. It simply died there in the garden. It hurt to watch that little bird die. I couldn't think of what to say about the bird. I hope that death was swift and relatively painless for the bird. I also hope that all the deaths were painless today. We could simply take time to be more aware of what goes on around us. That little bird.

Fatso's

 

There is an upscale burger joint in the warehouse district in Minneapolis. I ate lunch there with two of my co-workers. I would say it is Uptown meets Steakhouse. The burgers are made with Black Angus beef. The decor is stainless steel and diner shiny. The tables are all hightops. The lemonade was tart. The standard burger comes in a half pound size. And for the truly adventurous they have a 3 pound burger special. Those that are brave enough to eat that burger are probably carried directly by ambulance to the cardiac care unit. Tasty buttery bun and crispy fries to top this all off. I might go again and try something other than the 1/4 lightweight burger with bacon that I ate. Thumbs up!

Autumn Day

Autumn Day, originally uploaded by Lukasia.

A year has passed since my mother last graced the home where I live. She is still be held captive by an uncooperative sister who presumes to know all because she is an attorney. This continues to gnaw at me. These are the autumn years of our mother's life and she is being held ransom for some small amount of money. My sister is really not all that different from some of the most vile clients with whom I have worked (suffered) in my many years as a probation officer and child protection worker.

The energy she expends fighting family could be put to good use. Since she is the "smartest" of all the children she should best see how devastating the past few years have been to our family. She most capably as an attorney could use the law to rectify what she started. She most certainly could use her superior intelligence to course through the institutions and bureaucracy to give her the golden years that our mother worked so hard to achieve.

Alas, that is not the case. Intelligence and brilliance turned away from good is simply evil. Nothing can change that.