Take it Back

We live in a world where good people sometimes can't do enough to warrant the rewards of their behavior. We live in a world in which innocent children are shot down while doing homework. We live in a world in which newborns are dumped into garbage containers. We live in a world in which children are pitted against seniors for the diminishing pie of available money.

We live in a world in which the sun rises and warms our hearts and minds and bodies. We live in a world in which every one has the same twenty-four hours. What we do within those twenty-four hours defines who we are. We can choose to be loving or hateful. We can choose to be aloof or engaged. We can choose to laugh or cry. Thankful or miserable. Your choice.

We do know that the truth will prevail. After all the monuments have crumbled. After all the seas have dried up. The truth will prevail.

Slip-on Shoes

My sister and I had time to talk while I was driving and more after I got back from Chicago. My brother is now focusing on all the things that his family did not provide for him. He is annoyed or angry that our father made it to only 1 football game of his...he fails to recall the many other gifts he received from the family. I told my dad that I recalled him giving me an egg and sausage sandwich when I had missed breakfast once as a child. It was a big deal for me; apparently just parent fodder for him. That is the way that life is. We make mountains of molehills and expect that everyone attaches the same emotional significance to an event. That is big and small. So, apparently, the brother eventually started wearing slip-on shoes because his older siblings tired of tying his shoes and he was reluctant to learn. Tough being the baby in a family. I think we middle kids have it easier. Lower expectations (excepting the princesses in my family).

Withdrawal

It has been many a day since I last posted. It is a combination of factors. Life is speeding up. My oldest is now an official teen, instead of being a "wannabe teen". She has launched a full scale attack on the adults in her life. We are to blame for all her teenage angst and the principal targets for her new found wrath. Where did this little monster come from? It is imperative that I find my center and remain there.

There are personal attacks at work as well. I am being bombarded by the rants and complaints of the many clients that I work with who have personality disorders. It is enough to make one want to scream for submission. I could walk away from this job right now.

In addition we have soccer for the younger sibling. He needs a personal chauffer to drive him from place to place. I do not mind taking him, but it is summer here in MN and we are full into our second season (road repair) which means detours and slow traffic.

The situation with my POA sister is relentless as well. She parses out information as if it were being removed from her personal treasury. She tells us that a visit from my aunt from Gary is imminent, but fails to share that the annual checkup physical to Mayo for our mother is not necessary since she consulted with the Mayo Clinic and it was determined that routine tests could be completed in GA with her physician and then Mayo could decide. Of course, those tests are probably completed now. We wait with baited breath to get the results. Meanwhile the inane "friendly emails" continue. I am starting to think of them as distractions. She can tell the world that she worked at "maintaining contact". I would rather have my daily dose of spam from total strangers than some semi-conciliatory drivel from my sister who has been granted the authority to hold our mother hostage. I think that might make a nice anagram.
(SWHBGAHOMH)

My brother and SIL have honeymooned now and eagerly await the photos from their wedding. Yet they know that 1) I drove the father who almost did not get to perform the ceremony home to IL 2) rushed back to my job and kids 3) will be driving our father from St. Louis to Memphis for another wedding. And selling more assets to pay for the attorney that he agreed we should have to appeal the decision made earlier this year. Of course, he does not respond to email or pleas for assistance. He managed to call me quite a few times over the weekend while I was away for peace and quiet. Yet failed to respond to emails regarding his own wedding photography or requests for selection of the photos. I will be shot before I give my time and energy to another unappreciative and ungrateful family member. Some people have no concept of talent or professionalism since they have minions to do all for them.

Guess that brings me back to my present reality. Time to write some books and make some sense of the maelstrom. Later.

80mph

taken at 80mph returning from the wedding that almost was. what more can we know? we have the right to dissent from the status quo. we even still have the right to "free speech" as long as it does not become a Homeland Security issue. What do you think?

Oops

Expediently forgetful. Seems my little bro' called my sister. Thanked her for the wedding present she sent to them...ignoring the request for input and financial assistance with the new attorney's fees. He simply ignored the request I sent him a few days ago. I know they have been busy getting to know each other in the Biblical sense. Enough is enough. Bluster, rhetoric, hyperbole. Enough already. Cough up or shut up. That is all that I am asking. Is that too much?

Salt n' Peppa

Salt n' Peppa, originally uploaded by unohuu.

My brother married on Saturday. I flew into Chicago and drove with my uncle and father down to Louisville. There were not many wedding style events. No rehearsal dinner (in facct, there was no rehearsal), nor any kind of family gathering. We showed up; I set up my camera and my father's video camera and waited. A few minutes later, people started appearing. I had no idea who belonged to anyone side of the family. It really got me to thinking. I met my S-I-L and eventually her parents (who seemed truly disinterested in knowing us). I know nothing of her except snippets of what I overheard in hushed tones. She has been divorced twice. She has a twenty-one year old son. They were actually married last month so that they could purchase the house together. Our family has secrets. We could teach the hush hush services a thing or two. We could train spies.

This image was a practice shot for me. But it has become a reality as I think back to what the family has become. Ms POA wanted to hear from us and now she is simply ignoring the information that we shared with her. I think she needs a mental status exam. What purpose does it serve to tear this already weakened family apart? What will she get? What is in it for her? I continue to scratch my head in wonder.

My father's physical abilities continue to diminish. He refuses to give up though. My brother joked about him falling asleep during the ceremony. I knew that not being able to perform this after driving all the way would have broken his heart. In his own way, my gruff old dad is just an old sap. He is a soft touch for bunnies and cats and small children. He loves romance. I caught him watching Titanic last night on TV.

Back to the grist mill system of making empty promises to protect children. We have come full circle for sure when all one has to do is scream about the injustice of the very system designed to protect children from families and predators. I am not saying that we do not provide a valuable service to the community - I am saying that our efforts are only half-assed. Too much violence and neglect before we remove them. Too much damage to their psyches. Too few psychologists and social workers in charge. Too many business-oriented managers that want to count the widgets and show with some certainty that we are doing our job. What price for a life? Imagine she is your daugher or he your nephew. What price then?

Louisville

flight into Chicago today. Uncle and Dad picked me up at MDW and we hit the road for Louisville. My brother is getting married on Saturday. Nice drive. Much shorter than that trek to Hotlanta.