Life in a Fishbowl

being the child of a celebrity carries its own unique set of problems. you can't have a normal life. people watch everything you do and everything you don't do. you are judged not for who you are but what you are. PK - shorthand for Preacher's Kid and President's Kid. I was the clerical PK....and since i am Jr. as well, it was tough living up to the grander than grand and larger than life expectations. add to this your mother the English teacher in a small fishbowl and the pressures of being the first born son of these two freedom fighting but law-abiding citizens and you have a combo made for neurosis. at least two of us found a way to sublimate the pressures and confusion and have escaped rather unscathed. the rest of my siblings bear the mark of the unmistakable and undeniable strain of living the life that someone else has chosen for you. this is our surmise.

Ms POA has not freed herself from the fishbowl. instead of finding her own life and living it, she clamors for the false adoration; the artificial glory and adulation of the fishbowl...while we tired of the limelight and found solace in books and travel and friends, the rest continued to seek the glare and glory of the light and life in the fishbowl. a small fishbowl i think as well. we were not really all that prominent a family. we did have some aces up our sleeves - famous relatives; a few tough ancestors who were proud to be what they are; intelligence and diligence. we thrived and worked with other survivors. we believed in the common good, decency and self-respect. we believed in hard work, education and persistence in face of even the most challenging situations. we believed that hard work is its own reward. at least these are the lessons i learned. apparently, the other three learned something else. that "me" is more important than "us'. that i am not happy, no one should be happy. that being in the fishbowl is a blessing since i then have no responsibility to others, let alone myself. that finding ways to deflect is more important than finding ways to resolve.

the fishbowl has two lenses. one convex and one concave. the convex lens distorts and makes everything look large. from the concave perspective - inside the fishbowl - everything looks smaller than it is. easier now to understand. those who do not ask the questions about whether or not the fishbowl is a representative of the entire universe are doomed to believe that it simply is. like the Dark Ages, the world is flat is just good enough...even if there are enlightened people telling you that it is not. who would dare question the authority of the sages and the sacred thought police? the penalty might be life!