Reds

Reds
Originally uploaded by unohuu.

it is better to be happy in a cardboard shack than to be alone in a castle...Harry Connick, Jr.

he is a junior...don't know anything at all about his father. smooth jazz to ease me into the night. today was a busy day...first volleyball game. we lost...but i think they had fun. coaching the team is going to be tough work. i need to get a whistle.

then lunch and then the trauma of the 8 month old terror. stranger anxiety and his sister becoming increasingly annoyed and agitated. i left him at the foster home when he had not calmed down after 1/2 hour. too much nerve-wracking annoyance.

mom was doing the same thing. anxiously badgering me and trying to win me over. just spend the time with your daughter. driving from one end of the metro to the other. crying kids...maybe we could run away...HC, Jr. again.

the music box played...sad little serenade...


busy tomorrow...Sunday School; teaching youngsters than shooting family portraits at the Circus of the Heart for MN ASAP. I am looking forward to this. Melancholy and little flow here. That is easy for you to say. Good night!

Fabulous 50s

Fabulous 50's
Originally uploaded by unohuu.

You can't really ever go home again. Home is always changing. The glorious days of my youth are faded and inaccurate memories made sentimental by the passage of time and forgiveness. Sometimes the passage is mercurial; other times it might be Neptunian (is that a word?). America is again looking back at the glorious days of its youth and adolescence. Was it as wonderful as we so fondly (but inaccurately) remember it?

Listening to new music...something i bought for myself...something to help me feel normal as i wade through the swamp of family matters. tantrums and attitudes and spasticity. the tidepool of good will is becoming a cesspool again. fear, anxiety, desperation are the colors of family i see now. compassion was thrown out the judicial window. maybe those 50s were fantastically fabulous for some of us.

i will be that 50 next year. hopefully someone will recall that i was wise and kind and considerate. perhaps someone will have a good word for me.

Sunrise

in the midst of all the turmoil and trouble and tawdriness, i see rays of hope. this morning was one of the most beautiful sunrises i have ever seen. pink and salmon sky, fingerling clouds with whispers of babies breath tossed in for good measure. i had this glorious view for at least a good 1/2 hour as i wended my way from our home to drop the kids off at school. sometimes in the midst of all our despair comes a blessing. i was awake for this one and i am thankful. just nice to be able to see the hand of the creator. hope you find some joy and bliss in the midst of all your troubles. BTW, no photograph would do justice for what i saw this morning. it will remain forever impressed upon my mind, though.

Simple Phone Call

my other family is in turmoil and crisis. we are floundering around trying to make sense of a situation that refuses to yield to the archives of regular stuff. my mother left here with m sister yesterday. my sister alleged she would come by the house with my mother for dinner. she never showed. my mother had no spare clothes with her or her medications. my sister lied to me. the shock of all this has left me disillusioned and overwhelmed with strange emotions. emotions that are so raw and so pervasive that i find myself fighting my most basal instinct - revenge.

lo and behold...my mother is reappeared in Atlanta. we have not heard from my sister prior to my call there recently tonight. i have also tried to have my sister listen to genuine concern about herself and my mother. she only wants to hear that she is being victimized and persecuted. a simple phone call would have been appreciated.

My sister has declared that she was advised by the local law enforcement not to come to my home. of course, she is the person (speculation) who called the ADC and told them that the Sgt. was coming to pickup my mother. I spoke directly with this Sgt. who actually listened to what I had to say. He verified that he had specifically told the ADC that he would not be coming.

This is too painful now for me to think about.

Autumn Day

Autumn Day
Originally uploaded by unohuu.

This is the second oldest surviving member of my family. My mother is an acerbic and sharp-witted woman who suffers from dementia now. She fades in an out like an old B/W TV with rabbit ears. It does not matter to me. I rather enjoy her philosophical rantings and her ability to both expand and compress time. I have been her brother, father and son all in one day. She probably does not know what day today is, nor who the President of the US is. Why should she care at this point? She has done her duty and should simply enjoy these sundowning years. This was taken on the deck at the back of our house. I hope she stays awhile.

Travesty Continues

Plenty of bravado being spewed lately. I guess only a couple of us were fully aware of the potential fallout for all this. I am exhausted. Phone calls from and phone calls to attorneys, siblings, father, my sister's SO. We can't seem to get her out of jail. Charge is contempt of court. I know that serious DWI offenders and domestic abusers get in and out of jail faster than has occurred in this situation. Rumor has it that there is now a warrant for my arrest as well. That would not be a smart thing. Instead of using collaborative legal actions, the firebrand has resorted to legal bullyiing and semi-fascist tactics. I can go to jail if it means that my mother will have an opportunity to have her story heard. But it is exhausting. When this is all over (if ever), I think it will be important to recall all that has happened and what it will have cost our family. The expenses are rising at a geometric rate. That is only what we can calculate. Once again we have to rely on attorneys. They get rich. We get __________? Little sister! see her here -
This is so sad because our family has already survived so many more severe challenges. We have always been a strong family, even though we might not have been very cohesive. It is important that you know why this is going on. I love my mother

Regardless how long my mother stays with me, I will be updating her portraits. It has been a real joy having her here in my home; lots of work, but still a joy.

Motion Blur

Motion Blur
Originally uploaded by unohuu.

you have to watch and look quickly because the family dynamics have changed. last week i had four sisters and one brother. this week, all the recent events have forever changed the makeup of my family. my brother, my father and i recently went on a mission to free my mother from the confines of the hired guns who care for her. she had asked for help repeatedly and left ehr home with us willingly when we arrived. all that happened in a matter of minutes. we took her to a hotel. we talked with her and listened to what she had to say. we talked about revoking my sister's POA (Power of Attorney for the uninitiated). Power is a good beginning for this mess. Now my brother, my father and I left my mother's home state - dropped my brother off in one state en route to my father's home state and finally my mother and I pulled into my driveway sometime yesterday - after we took my son to his special soccer clinic. The guys from the Thunder were there. Great clinic...too bad the kids were so tired.

My sister claims my sister participated. Apparently the Sheriff's Office picked up my innocent sister. Her claim to fame - she lives in the same damn county as my POWER hungry ATTORNEY sister. She has manipulated the truth and the court system long enough. She will have to face her judge separate and apart from the outcome of all this. Why 2 smaller. I have another sister in this southern metropolitan city who quietly sits back and watches all the evil transpire. I wonder what she gets out of all this.

Meanwhile. I can't go back to this mecca of necritude for fear that the denizens of destruction will apprehend me. Oh yeah, I have to hire an attorney. So why all the fuss?

My mother does have some memory issues- I think adult daycare would provide adequate safety for her. My mother does have many medications. Again, the ADC we visited today has an RN on staff and they administer medications. My mother will be in a more stimulating environment than if she simply lives alone in her dark house with the many strangers (CNAs), who all work for my sister. I think my mother enjoyed every single moment of this day. I hope that it was worth it for the rest of the family.

OK, I am looking at the sunny side of this. Tragically, I will have fewer Christmas presents to buy. Down to my two siblings and I am not allowed to be in contact with my mother since I am a detriment to her safety. See, I have withheld her anti-rejection drugs from her. Can you tell I am really quite angry? I hope so. I have to turn this anger into righteous indignation. Shalom!