Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Each Day

i start out with the same 24 hours as everyone else. i settle in to my routine although i loathe to call it that. i check email, have some tea, let the dog out, head to the shower and either get kids up, if they are here, or leave for work, if they are not. nothing wrong with the routine. it works for me. sometimes i squeeze in time to write or to educate myself a bit on world affairs. sometimes i think about what life might be like if _____________ (You fill in the blank!)

lately though i have had just awful pangs of creativity that continue to bubble through my mundane psyche screaming to be given a voice - a chance to be expressed. most days i manage to quelch that before i lose my mind or my job. some days though i allow myself to ask the questions. why am i here? what else am i supposed to be doing besides Child Protection? Is there more? i know some of you are thinking this is just a mid-life crisis. i had those starting in my late twenties. i am the original angst-driven man. think every maudlin man you have ever seen. i am he and he is me. i was an emotional midget in the original family. the pendulum swung too far the other way when i escaped. hopefully i have moderated some of that in the past few years, but ever aware of what might become.

No comments: