I went to the ATM on my way to Rochester this morning. Mom was at the Mayo for her annual kidney checkup. it has been six years now. my sister, Jacqui, brought her up from Atlanta. Amazingly they managed to get along without killing each other yesterday. Few appointments though. it has become a ritual for my mother to become unglued shortly after she arrives here at my home...like all creatures of habit, she hates the disorientation of unfamiliar surroundings. obviously, my home is not similar to hers in any way. she lost her keys; she misplaced the TV remote (euphemism for hid it in her state of disorientation). i know those keys are here somewhere and i think i will find them before they head back to Atlanta.
ATM is because my sister, the lawyer, who is in charge of my mother's affairs, according to her, was too cheap to get parking, or buy my mother lunch today. she will reimburse herself for all the expenses and probably pay herself for the travel and accompaniment while she has been away from her legal practice.
mom again has agreed to the idea of ASSISTED LIVING. i am not sure if the RN talked her into it or my sister guided the discussion that way. what i know is that my mother will not recall agreeing to ASSISTED LIVING and there will be hell to pay with the siblings. here we go again.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
Little One
My own little pointdexter-like child. He would never just smile for the camera, but these glasses that he found to hide behind gave him just enough of a prop that he would allow me to capture this image. Imagine that. He loved this!
Anonymous
life is full of surprises. there are so many events and moments that we can't plan for. i have been busy the last couple of weeks. last weekend i shot my second wedding. or at least part of a wedding - just the formals after the ceremony. but even then they were in a hurry. i was so surprised that i failed to follow through with the lighting that i wanted to achieve.
this is a photo from my studio lighting class. i was pleased with the results. it was a surprise as well since my camera would not work with the radio transmitter that the others had. oh well, make lemonade when life gives you lemons. if not that, then lemon custard, or lemon pie, or lemon something. i will get to shoot again.
this is a photo from my studio lighting class. i was pleased with the results. it was a surprise as well since my camera would not work with the radio transmitter that the others had. oh well, make lemonade when life gives you lemons. if not that, then lemon custard, or lemon pie, or lemon something. i will get to shoot again.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Reds' Rant
she came for a visit on Friday, before Mothers' Day. I am sure she did not know Mothers'Day was approaching, just as I am sure that she did know she was going to see her mommy. She was disappointed though, because Mommy never showed up. Not a tear was shed, nor any cry uttered. She is a trooper, perhaps all to accustomed to the stinging disappointment. I see too many of these placid and sad faces. This one makes me feel truly sad inside. I keep hoping that my work could soon come to an end. We could have better parents in our society. We could eliminate the shaming and debilitating poverty that is one factor in child abuse. We could make a dent in domestic violence and chemical dependency. We could laugh away at illiteracy. We could push racism and sexism out the door. We could do it all, but I now fear we don't care anymore. We all want Hummer H3s (the fuel efficient ones), LCD TVs, 6000 sf homes that we hardly have time to spend in because we are raging workaholics and playaholics. We do not know our neighbors. We do not care about life (except what we can immediately see and touch). We have endless arguments about stadiums and taxes. We have Democrats and Replubicans engaging in senseless rhetoric as our Rome is burning. We have global warming and instead of changing our lifestyles, we argue incessantly about who is to blame. We all are. Maybe she is somber because she is not sure she wants the inheritance that we are leaving for her.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Thoughts
I had two thoughts this morning relating to all the business in people's lives.
1st Thought: What would our lives be like if no one had ever been able to drive through a McDonald's or Burger King or KFC? What if you had to eat there or take it home? I thought about this because I was rushing off to donate blood this morning. In my business I forgot that they wanted to be certain that I had eaten something. Mickey D's; here I come. What impact might this have had on our society? What would it mean if we were not all facing the same way in the car when we started eating as we rushed from this place to that place? What would we have replaced the "car culture" with since nothing occurs in a vacuum? More importantly, what have we missed as we learn to love our cars as we do ourselves?
2nd Thought: Where are we all rushing to? Technology was meant to ease the burdens of our lives. Machines to do the grueling labor, computers to do what took so very many man and woman hours to do in the past? We have these much larger homes, and greater distances to travel regularly. We are a global community, but we often do not know our immediate physical neighbors. We have instant access to financial news, politics, scandal, and weather, but we often fail to take time to utilize the information. We are more easily able to be entertained, yet we do not seem to enjoy and are constantly craving more. Are we insatiable? How much bad news can one person absorb? How much fun can one body take before it needs something sobering? Why so much excess? Perhaps you can tell me!
1st Thought: What would our lives be like if no one had ever been able to drive through a McDonald's or Burger King or KFC? What if you had to eat there or take it home? I thought about this because I was rushing off to donate blood this morning. In my business I forgot that they wanted to be certain that I had eaten something. Mickey D's; here I come. What impact might this have had on our society? What would it mean if we were not all facing the same way in the car when we started eating as we rushed from this place to that place? What would we have replaced the "car culture" with since nothing occurs in a vacuum? More importantly, what have we missed as we learn to love our cars as we do ourselves?
2nd Thought: Where are we all rushing to? Technology was meant to ease the burdens of our lives. Machines to do the grueling labor, computers to do what took so very many man and woman hours to do in the past? We have these much larger homes, and greater distances to travel regularly. We are a global community, but we often do not know our immediate physical neighbors. We have instant access to financial news, politics, scandal, and weather, but we often fail to take time to utilize the information. We are more easily able to be entertained, yet we do not seem to enjoy and are constantly craving more. Are we insatiable? How much bad news can one person absorb? How much fun can one body take before it needs something sobering? Why so much excess? Perhaps you can tell me!
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Less
i am just frustrated and tired of being stuck in the middle. i was born in the middle of my siblings. i am #3 of 5. two considerable older sisters and then the last three of us all bunched together over a short period of 4 years.
i live in a totally middle class neighborhood and i am surrounded by people who have wonderful middle class values. they work hard, they play a bit, save, travel and cut their grass every weekend from May until October. i work hard throughout my week and grass and yardworks are the last thing on my mind. i do not find it meditative or relaxing. i wonder why so much emphasis on the pristine lawn that the neighbors all pour petrochemicals on for fertilization and weed-killing. we don't really spend all that much time in our yard. we play at the soccer fields and badminton practices for the kids. we ride our bikes to the park and we eat on the deck (when the mosquitos are not too bad).
have we been duped into all this middle class manic acquisition as a means to support the megaindustrialists? do any of us really need Suburbans for hauling the kids to soccer? Or our home entertainment places that we are too busy to enjoy? i am thinking smaller is better now. i am thinking getting into a small well-designed home that does not keep me captive every weekend. what happened to weekend jaunts to exciting nearby places? romantic dinners in noisy little bistros and nights of dancing and laughing over beer with friends? is this why we are almost all overweight and developing disorders that the medical professionals are only now giving names to?
less is more in a way. i will keep you posted.
i live in a totally middle class neighborhood and i am surrounded by people who have wonderful middle class values. they work hard, they play a bit, save, travel and cut their grass every weekend from May until October. i work hard throughout my week and grass and yardworks are the last thing on my mind. i do not find it meditative or relaxing. i wonder why so much emphasis on the pristine lawn that the neighbors all pour petrochemicals on for fertilization and weed-killing. we don't really spend all that much time in our yard. we play at the soccer fields and badminton practices for the kids. we ride our bikes to the park and we eat on the deck (when the mosquitos are not too bad).
have we been duped into all this middle class manic acquisition as a means to support the megaindustrialists? do any of us really need Suburbans for hauling the kids to soccer? Or our home entertainment places that we are too busy to enjoy? i am thinking smaller is better now. i am thinking getting into a small well-designed home that does not keep me captive every weekend. what happened to weekend jaunts to exciting nearby places? romantic dinners in noisy little bistros and nights of dancing and laughing over beer with friends? is this why we are almost all overweight and developing disorders that the medical professionals are only now giving names to?
less is more in a way. i will keep you posted.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
i saw this posted elsewhere. i could not find a person to credit it to, but i am acknowledging that this is not mine. i do think it is great advice. you have to decide for yourself. some of it may be useful, some not. take what you need and leave the rest for someone else.
ADVICE, LIKE YOUTH, PROBABLY JUST WASTED ON THE YOUNG
June 1, 1997
Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.
I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
ADVICE, LIKE YOUTH, PROBABLY JUST WASTED ON THE YOUNG
June 1, 1997
Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.
I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
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