I was at court again today. Another TPR trial...this being one of the first times I hoped that the parent did not arrive on time. A default hearing was what I needed. I just get up on the stand and talk about all the deficits of the parent. Not today. She was late and I had a fleeting moment when I thought I might avoid this horror. You ask, "What is so horrible?". Today her 11 year old son was in court. I had to say all these awful things about this child's mother in his presence. He sat there in the court room, doe-eyed and innocent looking. I am sure he knows that his mother is mentally ill. Why would this child have begged for asylum within the foster care system? Still no child wants to have participated in the process - no matter how many times we tell them that it is "in the child's best interests". That is the standard.
We left court and went back to my office for a supervised visit. After the visit, this woman who hated me just an hour before wanted a ride home and took the offer for lunch at Subway without blinking an eyelash. She offered to repay me for the orange soda, but not for the 12" subway she wolfed down. She was thankful as we approached her mother's house.
Each one of these trials takes a bit more of my soul away. Why do I have to do this? Could we not find someone else to take the black children away from the teats of their mothers. Am I evil incarnate or am I one of the guardians of the gate? Who is protecting the Black children from the parents? It is an odd position to be in. Of course I know this child already does not know his father. He was deported to Antigua some threee years ago. Antigua? Deportation to Antigua is a consequence for the domestic violence? Deportation should be to some place like Siberia; not Antigua.
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