Life as We Know It!

Where did you get your values? Were you present when they handed out the Rule Book? Apparently I was not. I do not know where I was. Perhaps I was not invited to the convocation! Maybe I am an Undesirable or some other kind of pariah. Whatever the reason, I missed out. Did you?

Here is what I speculate! I was out watching the sunset or watching the waves pound against a beachhead somewhere. They probably called and I was in that state of contentment and zoned all the outside world out. There was likely even a second call. I was probably cleaning house, or coaching volleyball for the kids. It was on my calendar, but the really important stuff in life took precedence to this simple formality. I was proably expecting one of those mid-dinner calls from my concerned Rule Book provider so that I could stay in the Rule Book good graces without my being reported to the violator of the Rule Book reporting agency. Since I usually do not answer the phone when we are having family time (dinner, movies, etc.) I missed out. They could have left a recording on voicemail that I probably have not listened to yet. The time limit for redemption will soon expire (if it already hasn't). They probably turned it over to the Rule Book Violator Forgiveness agency. Those letters are likely in that stack of mail on my desk that I get to when I am not chauffering kids to practice or games or interacting with them.

My intentions are good. I will think about after I put the kids to bed; the dishes and laundry though become the primary task at hand. Somewhere and somehow, I think we just have to make time between trips to the Post Office and drycleaners to read the everchangingcascade of new family rules.

1) Even though you should have access to your mother, we reserve the right to turn off the ringer on her phone, because it interrupts her time with the CNA.

2) Should you call and the ringer is off, the phone might roll over to voicemail; we reserve the right to disconnect the voicemail so that you may not leave a message.

3) If you per chance avoid Rules 1 and 2 and are able to talk with your mother, we will monitor the calls because you might say something that we personally disagree with. We can't have freedom of speech (unless it is our freedom- Remember WE are the Power Of Attorney).

4) We would never dial the phone to facilitate contact between you and your mother (even though we suspect you have tried to reach her unsuccessfully in the past).

5) Please do not confuse this enforcement of the Rules with anything you might call control or abuse. Remember Power of Attorney trumps all other rules. I make the rules and break them as I choose.

6) No mere non-attorney who does not have Power of Attorney dare challenge any of the rules above. You are not intelligent enough to understand the complicated system of Rules created simply to keep you from having a relationship with your mother.

7) Any challenge to the rules listed above will have more dire consequences for you. You may never speak with your mother again.

I think there are some more rules, but they have not been intimated to me yet.

PRIME DIRECTIVE: If you become enough of a nuisance, I will seek the fullest extent of Homeland Security Act to have you held without due process.